Thursday, May 31

Ranking the Pokemon: #79- Drowzee


I always thought Drowzee had a much larger snout. Something like an elephant almost. Oh well, I guess not. It's also one of the rare Pokes who really doesn't resemble its evolutionary superior, so that's a bonus? I don't know why, but I've always liked Drowzee (or "Sleepe," as it's known in Japan...I guess "Sleepy" was already taken by Snow White). It really shouldn't make sense: Abra is a superior Psychic type in nearly every way, especially in my favorite category--Speed; Drowzee looks really weird with its Wyoming football colors; it's on the brink of falling asleep at any moment; and most importantly, its name is one of those "we got lazy" moments that Game Freak seems to have a lot, using a normal English word that's slightly misspelled. It's basically a mutant freak, and for that I like it.

Drowzee has solid Special, especially for a first-year, and good HP, and just about everything else is average. Which actually makes it one of the more defensively sound Psychic types in the game. Drowzee unsurprisingly learns Hypnosis, which is actually a really bad move (because of how inaccurate it is, only connecting 60% of the time), and can learn Dream Eater via TM. So, as you would expect, not only can this perpetual narcoleptic beast also coerce other people into slumber, it can then steal the dreams of said other person. Basically, Drowzee was Inception before Christopher Nolan even thought up Memento. Maybe THAT'S why it's so high on this list.

Battling Grade: C+

Most Epic Goal Celebrations Ever!



Goodness, this is quite clever. YouTubers Surrender Monkeys and Buzzman teamed up to make a really funny epic goal celebration compilation. As the video description states:

Goal celebrations + Special effects + Euro 2012 + Football + Goals + Celebration + Dinosaur + Rooney + Cute Dog + Arsene Wenger + Cristiano Ronaldo + Gunshots +Explosions + Accordion + Bichon maltese + Strippers + Llama + Fire + Leek + Sangoku + Rasta + More explosions

That sounds like a winning combination no matter how you look at it. Add some epic music in the background, and...well, this is just really well put together. Enjoy.

Wednesday, May 30

This Marriage Proposal Should Satisfy Your Dose of Adorableness For the Day



Goodness, this is incredibly clever and well planned out. I'll just let the man himself explain:

On Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012, I told my girlfriend to meet me at my parent's house for dinner. When she arrived I had stationed my brother to sit her in the back of an open Honda CRV and give her some headphones. He "wanted to play her a song"...

What she got instead was the world's first Live Lip-Dub Proposal.

The groom-to-be grabbed his friends and family and had them choreograph a full dance and lip sync to Bruno Mars' "Marry You." Plenty of highlights in this one, including a girl (the one in the red dress) who reminds me way too much of Erin from The Office, the proposing man walking down the aisle with "dancing Jews" (since the line "dancing shoes" isn't super clear), and, perhaps most surprisingly, a Bruno Mars song that's actually enjoyable. Best of all, the girl said yes. And there's your big smile for the day.


Tuesday, May 29

Ranking the Pokemon: #80- Dratini

I don't know which one (in Generation I) is a more overrated type: Dragon or Ghost. Each only has one evolutionary line, and each only has a limited move pool. Yet everyone seems to use either Dragonite or Gengar (or both). I've gotten suckered in to the Dragonite lore, as well. After all, Lance of the Elite 4 (i.e., the final guy you battle outside of your rival) swears by Dragon types as his go-to option. And while putting all of your eggs in one type basket is completely stupid, they're still not a bad option, and Dratini and its evolutionary chain learns some good moves while being fairly well-rounded stat-wise.

The main reason I don't like the Dragons are because there is exactly ONE Dragon type move in Generation I. It's called Dragon Rage, and it will do 40 damage every time no matter what. So...it's great for taking out Level 6 Rattatas you come across, but it's awful against Level 100...well, anythings. Yes, even a Level 100 Farfetch'd can take a few Dragon Rages and be none the worse for wear. And Dragons are only weak against other Dragons and Ice attacks, so essentially, in this generation, they're only weak against Ice. And resistant against pretty much everything else, so it's tough to damage Dragons. 

Dratini also has high Attack, but the problem is that it learns mostly Special moves, so outside of Hyper Beam, which I'm not a huge fan of (any attack you have to recharge after is just sorta so-so in my book), you don't have a lot of physical options with the 'tini. Unless you want to be annoying and just use Wrap a lot. I know I don't have the patience to only deal like 15 damage a turn, even if the opponent's paralyzed with Thunder Wave. I want my kills to be immediate, dammit! So the moral of the story, since we haven't seen a Ghost type on this list yet, is that Dragons are more overrated. They're still good, but overrated.

Battling Grade: B-

Player Makes Incredible Leaping Catch Over Wall to End Baseball Game



This is one of the most amazing catches I've seen in a long time. With two outs and the tying run at the plate in the NWAACC* baseball championships, Derrick Salberg of Lower Columbia College leaps over the fence to make the catch. And I literally mean he leaps over the fence. He goes completely horizontal and grabs the ball even though it's a good 10 to 15 feet past the outfield wall. There's no sound in the clip above, but I imagine the play-by-play would have just been a lot of excited yelling.

*Northwest Athletic Association of Community Colleges. Man, that's tough to say.

Kobye- The Kobe That We Used To Know

YouTuber ZzyzxFamProduct (that's a mouthful, ain't it?) recently put up a video as a nod to the Lakers second round playoff exit that featured a whole lot of Kobe Bryant and not much else. Parodying Gotye's mega-hit "Somebody That I Used to Know," the video drops lines like "But you didn't have to take that shot/Just drive the lane and dump it off to either Pau or Bynum/Those two guys are really tall/And when you keep it for yourself we never score enough." I just like the guy's over-the-top lip syncing, even though his singing isn't the best. And he should be wearing a Kobe jersey, not a Pau Gasol one.

Thursday, May 24

Ranking the Pokemon: #81- Staryu



A lot of people (I am basing that statement off of anecdotal evidence only) seem to think starfish are a little gross. I am of the opposite opinion: I held a starfish one time in the Dominican Republic and they are actually quite cool. They feel a little briny, sure, but if you're feeling them underwater you don't really notice, and the way they stick to your hand is super cool. Which is why Staryu is super cool. It's ALSO super cool because (like Slowpoke), it's two of the best types in the game: Water and Psychic. Oh crap. It's not, I just checked. Apparently only Starmie gets the Psychic tag. No matter. Staryu can at least LEARN Psychic moves, in addition to Ice, Electric, and of course Water. And Normal, but so can everyone, so that doesn't count.

Staryu also has very solid base stats. With great Speed, very good Special, and decent Defense, it's a little tougher to take this starfish out than it would be in real life. You know, when you'd just toss it like a frisbee. Or a disc, perhaps. Like in this video. I wonder if I cameo in it.

UPDATE: I just watched the video. I do not cameo in it. I thought maybe there'd be some archival footage of my one semester of ultimate frisbee at UM. Sadness. Kind of like your opponent's reaction when Staryu comes out, because they know it's going to kick their butt.

Battling Grade: B-

Ranking the Pokemon: #82- Slowpoke


I really hated Slowpoke when I grew up playing this game. I think it's just because it looks like an idiot. Like a Hungry, Hungry Hippo that wandered off the game board because not enough marbles were coming its way, and now it finds itself in the world of Pokemon. I think there's a girl in-game that has a Slowpoke, too, and that Slowpoke is INOBEDIENT. If I recall correctly, she gets it in a trade, and its utter disdain for any command is a looking glass into what will become of your life if you get a Pokemon in a trade and have not conquered enough gyms yet. So rather than being able to tell your, I don't know, Mr. Mime, "Mr. Mime, use PSYCHIC." You'll get things like "Mr. Mime is LOAFING AROUND" and "Mr. Mime used 'Shut up and put me back on the street corner you kidnapped me from.'" Which causes you to say "How does Mr. Mime talk?" and then Mr. Mime says "Because mimes CAN talk, they just don't when they're performing. And I'm not performing for you because you haven't even gotten the second gym badge??? You're worse than Misty, and she's a fictional character!" And then you have to take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and think about where you're going with your life.

However, as time has gone on, I've learned Slowpoke is pretty useful, despite being about as fast as a non-chalant sea tortoise. Once you look around the lack of Speed, it has very good Attack and Defense for a first-year (my recently-named reference to any unevolved Pokemon that has an evolutionary chain, rather than an unevolved Pokemon that just never evolves--like our good friend Mr. Mime, for instance), and good HP for ANYONE, let alone a first-year. Its Special is so-so, but once you get to Level 40 with Pokey you'll learn Amnesia. Which now only raises Special Defense, but since Special Attack and Special Defense were one in the same back in Generation I, Slowbro was a BEAST. We'll go over movesets with it in its later iteration, but Slowpoke can more than hold its own against just about any Pokemon. Except maybe the next one on this list.

UPDATE: According to my buddy Rubes, Slowpoke has also become one of those "advice animal" memes. Looks like I was later to the party on that one that Slowpoke was itself. 

Battling Grade: B-

Act Like Elvis, Actually BE Elvis


Elvis Presley Enterprises, Inc. is giving Elvis’ fans a chance to win an exclusive trip to Memphis for Elvis Week 2012 to co-host online daily updates. In other words, it's another chance for YouTubers to show what they've got!

The “Co-Host Elvis Week with Memphis Jones Contest” begins today and submissions will be accepted until June 6, 2012 at 9:59 AM ET. To enter, fans can submit their videos to YouTube demonstrating their love of the king and showing why they would be the ultimate Elvis Week co-host. Then fill out the form at www.elvis.com/cohost with a link to your YouTube video and be featured on the Elvis YouTube Channel in the Memphis Jones Gallery. I find it kind of funny that Elvis began his career and Memphis, and now you can cohost with someone named Memphis. Maybe it's because I have the maturity of a 12-year-old.

Of course, you're gonna get a package full of swag if you win. In addition to winning round-trip airfare, hotel accommodations, a rental car, $500 cash and VIP tickets for two to all the Elvis Week events, the winner will help host Memphis Jones with daily reports from inside Elvis Week 2012 (i.e., the real prize for someone wanting to be famous). The co-host will go backstage and help with interviews with many of the celebrities and musicians in town for the 35th anniversary. Seems like a pretty cool gig.

On June 7, 2012, semifinalists will be announced on Elvis.com and Elvis fans around the world will have the opportunity to vote for the co-host they most want to see reporting from Memphis. The voting period will end on June 13th at 9:59 AM ET.  The winner will be announced on June 14, 2012 and the winner must be able to be in Memphis from August 13 - 18, 2012.

Enter now by filling out the form at www.elvis.com/cohost and submitting your YouTube video. Right now. Or before June 6. Whatever. Videos will be judged based on personality and creativity. So MAKE IT FUNNY.

Wednesday, May 23

Flagrant Fouls Run Rampant In Game 5 of Heat-Pacers Series

Game 5 of the Heat/Pacers series got super chippy, with flagrant fouls abounding throughout. It all started when Indiana's Tyler Hansbrough made a hard foul on Dwyane Wade. I say "hard" and not "flagrant" because it appears that Hansbrough is in fact going for the ball. Wade brings the ball down to his head as Hansbrough starts making contact with it, and the ensuing follow-through catches Wade in the head. A decade ago, this would be commended as a "good, playoff basketball foul." Nowadays it's a "Flagrant 1." But that's how the game is, so I understand why it was called, although I'm sure Wade staying down an extra few seconds on the floor certainly helped.


Of course, being the playoffs, retaliation seems to be necessary. Again, that's fine. Udonis Haslem decides to be the one to deliver this blow--as Hansbrough is going up for his shot, Haslem comes down and absolutely clobbers Hansbrough in the face. A small part of Haslem's arm connects with Hansbrough's shoulder, but at no point did it look like he went for the ball. His foul was also deemed a Flagrant 1. A little questionable, but I suppose I can understand it. Kind of. Not really, though.



Then, with the game well out of hand, Dexter Pittman (who was on the WINNING team, mind you) decided to dish out a little poetic justice to Lance Stephenson, who earlier in the series made a choking motion toward LeBron James. The NBA defines a Flagrant 2 foul as "unnecessary and excessive contact." I think watching the video below is evidence enough of that. What a pathetic no-show of class. Even more pathetic is that the refs STILL only awarded this a Flagrant 1. If they can't even eject a player who, including tonight, has only played six minutes of a five game series, what's the point of having a differentiation in flagrant fouls, since they're apparently all the same?

Tuesday, May 22

Top Alley-Oops of 2011-12



Everybody loves a good alley-oop, right? How about 10 of them? I don't know if some of these should have made the list, but since I can't really think of any others off the top of my head I suppose they'll do. My personal favorites are #6 (J.R. Smith to Iman Shumpert and back to Smith), #5 (Rudy Fernandez to Kenneth Faried) and #3 (Jason Terry to Brandan Wright), but Russell Westbrook gets a shoutout as well for how ridiculously hard he slams the ball in #4.

Monday, May 21

Anchorman 2 Teaser Trailer Released



A few weeks ago, Will Ferrell announced the production of Anchorman 2, to the delight of fanboys and girls everywhere (yours truly included). Well, now we've gotten our first sneak peak of the film...kind of. I highly doubt any of this will go into the film, but it's nice to see the shenanigans of the whole gang are back. And yes, Brick Tamland is still an idiot--no word yet on if he still has a job in politics.

Lazy Sunday 2: The Last Digital Short Ever?



One of the highlights of Saturday Night Live has been the Digital Shorts. You remember last week there was a celebration of the 100th D.S. Well, this time Andy Samberg and company are back with "Lazy Sunday 2" featuring Chris Parnell. Since "Lazy Sunday" was basically the sketch that launched the viral video craze, was one of the first digital shorts, and put Samberg on the map, this seems like a pretty clever way for Samberg to announce he's leaving the show. Which is too bad, because the Digital Shorts are something I always looked forward to, and if they're not part of SNL, the show takes a big hit. 

Hopefully there are still more digital shorts to come, but listening to the end of "Lazy Sunday 2" doesn't bode well for Samberg fans:

"On these New York streets, I honed my fake rap penmanship," Samberg says. "That's how it began," Parnell chimes in; "And that's how I'ma finish it!" Samberg yells as the sketch closes.

Jay Pharoah as Stephen A. Smith

Saturday Night Live had its season finale last night, and Mick Jagger did a fairly solid job as host. The show also did a nice touching tribute to Kristen Wiig for her last show. I've never been a huge fan of Wiig's, but she has been a staple the past seven years so it was a sweet gesture.

Someone I have been a fan of, though, and who never gets enough material in my opinion, is Jay Pharoah. Case in point--he did a hilarious impersonation of Stephen A. Smith on "Weekend Update," but of course it's only a web exclusive and didn't actually make it on the live show. Not to worry, though: we have the internets at our fingertips, which means we can watch the hilarity unfold from the comfort of our homes.

Friday, May 18

This Yearbook Prank is Quite the Nguyen


The high school yearbook is a memorable thing, sure. Heck, I still enjoy going back and reading what people wrote in the "signature/comment" section. Most senior quotes, however, are forgettable at best. I only remember a handful off the top of my head, and by a handful I mean two. And one of them was mine. And the other one was potty-humorously delightful. Regardless, this takes the cake.

Eight girls from the same school, who all happen to share the last name Nguyen (which, as intelligent readers, I'm sure you already know is pronounced like "win") decided to wear the same black shirt, and it looks like they all tried to style their hair similarly as well. The kicker, though, comes with that good ol' yearbook quote. Spread out under all eight of their pictures, it reads "We know what you're thinking, and no, we're not related." Awesome.

Thursday, May 17

New Era Presents Round 2 of Nick Offerman vs. Craig Robinson


I am thrilled that part two of this series has just come out, since they are hilarious. As you may recall, at the start of the season, New Era released another episode of its annual series (John Krasinski and Alec Baldwin kicked things off last year) of rivals going at it with barbs at each other's teams. And it is fantastic. Watch as Chicago pals Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson on Parks & Recreation) and Craig Robinson (Darryl Philbin on The Office) discuss just what Offerman would give up for the Cubbies to win a World Series. And they're right, that pig DOES sound awesome.

Sean Rodriguez Adds to the Long List of MLB Pranks



One of the cooler fan-oriented promotions out there is the MLB Fan Cave, which this year is having nine fans watch every game of the MLB season and document things that happen via blog posts, videos, etc. They also get to watch as MLB players and other celebs come out to visit, and the fans see firsthand just how often pranks happen in baseball.

This is one of the more elaborate ones, with Tampa Bay's Sean Rodriguez tricking teammates David Price and James Shields into thinking they're doing a shoot for a commercial. Instead, they're just screaming and getting hit by snow and ice rocks for no reason at all. Great prank, although I'm kind of sad to hear there's not actually going to be a commercial, since it definitely could have worked.

Wednesday, May 16

Ranking the Pokemon: #83- Abra


Alakazam, which Abra eventually evolves into, is awesome. Outside of the legendary Mewtwo and Mew, Alakazam is the best Psychic type in the game. That's the main reason Abra is this high, despite being a "first-evolved" (my just-right-now-made-up-term-for-the-first-line-in-an-evolutionary-chain). Maybe I should call them "first-years" like in Harry Potter. Yes, I like that better. So Abra is one of the best first-years out there.

Well, that's assuming you can catch it. Abra learns only one move naturally: Teleport, which allowed a wild Pokemon to flee. In later generations, Teleport actually had some use in battle, but in the Generation I it had one use and one use only: to irritate the heck out of you when you tried to catch a wild Abra. You see, Abra is very fast, so it will often go first in a battle. And since its only move is Teleport, it will immediately flee from the battle. Before you even have a chance to catch it. Your best bet was to put it to sleep or paralyze it, and then hope it couldn't move. Because if it could, it's going to use Teleport and you're not going to catch it. What a dastardly foe!

Once you do have an Abra, though, it's pretty sweet. You'll have to use TMs to spruce it up, but you can give it Psychic and Thunder Wave, which are two staples of every single Alakazam you'll see. Reflect is also another common move, which Abra can use. If you really want to get crafty you can use Seismic Toss as your fourth move. That one does damage equal to Abra's level, so it can do a solid 100 if you for whatever reason don't level Abra up. Hey, it doesn't have a lot of options at this point. Might as well turn it into an Alakazam. Or at least a Kadabra.

Battling Grade: C+

Man with "ShoeZeum" Goes Through 2,000 Pairs of Shoes in 11 Minutes



Sometimes the title says it all. This man has 2,000 pairs of shoes, and he takes you through his massive collection in about 11 minutes. I don't know where he got the money for all of these, or how he'd even have enough space to keep them all (I guess the massive warehouse-like area they're stored in explains it, though), but this is still wildly impressive. Props to my buddy Evan for passing along.

Nerdy Guy Uses Gotye To Illustrate Difference Between You're and Your



This is pretty fantastic. Rapper Mac Lethal is sick of people misusing "you're" and "your" (and frankly, so am I) so he wrote a fast rap about it, set to the tune of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know." Well, not so much set to the tune of it as using it as background for his insanely fast rhymes. I've included the lyrics that are posted under the video, which ironically have a few typos in them as well. Still very impressive though.

2 BRAIIIIINZ

IDIOTS. THERE"S LOTS OF EM.
I WISH THAT I COULD OPEN UP THEIR BRAIN AND PRESS THE STOP BUTTON.
THEY'RE ALL DUMMIES MAN THE SHIT ISN'T COOL
I SWEAR TO GOD, THEY'RE STUPID AS FUCK AND DIDN'T LISTEN IN SCHOOL
THEY'RE ALWAYS SO OBNOXIOUS, 
WHEN THEY ARGUE ON THE INTERNET
BUT TRYING TO DEBATE WITH THEM IS HARMFUL LIKE A CIGARETTE.
YOU TRY TO OUTSMART THESE STUPID JERKS BUT YOU NEVER WIN
CUZ LATELY THEIR IDIOCY IS WORSE THAN IT'S EVER BEEN
YOU BETTER GET YOUR BAND-AIDS YOUR BASTARD
MY TONGUE IS LIKE A FAN-BLADE BUT FASTER
I'M KICKIN A DEVILISH MAN-MADE DISASTER
I PISS ON MY FINGERS THEN GIVIN YOU ALL A HANDSHAKE AFTER
FOR THINKIN IM JUST A PANCAKE RAPPER
NOPE, I KICK THROUGH THE DOOR
GAY MARRIAGE GETS MY SUPPORT
AND I COME SMART WHEN I ARGUE OVER MAJOR ISSUES LIKE WAR
BUT ALL THESE STUPID IDIOTS KEEP MISUSING YOU'RE
LOOK. I DONT WANNA BE A BITTER, ARROGANT, AMERICAN, ELITIST
BUT I THINK YOU BETTER GO AND READ A BOOK.
R I P TO M C A IM MAKIN YOU ALL STUDY ENGLISH COMPREHENSION YOU AINT SLEEPIN TIL WE GET TO BROOK-LYN
LOOK FRIEND, I COULD UNDERSTAND IF YOU'RE JUST A KID
BUT IF YOU'RE OLDER THAN 13 YEARS OLD YOU BETTER SEE THESE WORDS
AND KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS
THIS ONE IS A CONTRACTION, LIKE YOU, 
APOSTROPHE, ARE, READY FOR ACTION
YOU'RE AT RISK WHEN THE GEM STAR SLASH YOUR SKIN
YOU'RE AN IDIOT LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN
THIS ONE'S YOUR. POSSESSIVE. YOUR'S
YOUR BEER, YOUR GUN, YOUR MOM'S A WHORE
IM TAKING IT KINDA EASY ON YA SPITTIN A COUPLE SAMPLES
FUCK IT THOUGH IM GONNA GIVE ANOTHER EXAMPLE
LOOK SEE I DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU INSOLENT IDIOTS
IN A MINUTE I'LL ADMINISTER VENOM; DEFINITIVE WISDOM
SO TAKE ANOTHER GLANCE AND GET A VISION TRY TO LISTEN
COMPREHEND AND YOU'LL NO LONGER BE CONSIDERED SUCH A SIMPLETON
BUT LOOK. THIS ONE BELONGS TO YOU.
AND THIS ONE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE, IT'S TRUE!
SO THERE, FUCK GREED, FUCK SKINNY BAGS OF WEED,
AND FUCK YOU IF YOU'RE A FAN OF EITHER NICKLEBACK OR CREED!

quit being such an IDIOT
all you gotta do is use some proper grammar its easy
quit being such an imbecile
i hope to god your IQ is over 13

cuz you were in the 8th grade once
and even then your teacher got mad when you'd get this wrong
possessives and contractions are
apparently just something that you USED TO KNOW

Tony Hawk Jumps Over a Lexus Like It Ain't No Thang


Sometimes in life, you don't want to just walk around an object that's in your way. There are occasions where you have to jump over said object. In my life, said object is usually a table, chair, fire hydrant, etc. In Tony Hawk's life, that object is a Lexus LFA, which he had borrowed for the weekend. While I'm sure driving a fancy car to his local Wendy's or whatever errands he ran was fantastic, any skater looks at ANYTHING and thinks they can jump over it. And when you're a pro ollie master (ollier?) like Tony, jumping over a car isn't very difficult at all. Maybe that's why there's stone silence after he successfully completes the jump. Although this audience is still more receptive than when I sang the Barking Dogs version of "Jingle Bells" at karaoke, so Tony should be thankful for what he can get.




Tuesday, May 15

MIT Students Are Building Mario Karts Now



Well, kind of Mario Karts. MIT-er Charles Guan has built a Chibikart, which looks a lot like a go-kart, if nothing else. Guan claims on his blog that this wasn't inspired by Mario Kart, but I'ma go with that anyway, since Mario Kart is awesome. Also on his blog is a step-by-step process of the making of this Chibikart, including bumps along the way. Pretty awesome. If you want to make one on your own? It'll cost you at least $1,300, and probably closer to $2,000 for all the parts. But, I mean...if you really like Mario Kart, this is probably a worthy investment, plus it would be amazing to say you built one for yourself.

Watch the Last Five Minutes of Manchester City and Manchester United Matches Side by Side



Any sports fan has by now seen the incredible final goals by Manchester City this weekend. Down 2-1 and needing to win to capture the English Premiere League title, City scored two goals in stoppage time, and people went NUTS. Of course, on the other side of that celebration was Manchester United, who found out moments after they won their game (and thought they were champions) that they were not, in fact, the best team in the EPL. Crazy to see them juxtaposed against each other.

Monday, May 14

Will Ferrell on Jimmy Fallon

This is a few days old, since it was Will Ferrell promoting himself hosting Saturday Night Live, which obviously happened this past weekend, but it's still fantastic, so it's worth a mention. Ferrell appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and the predictable hilarity ensues. I personally like the discussion of Ferrell's sketches that bombed. I don't remember any of those, but hey, it works. Check out the two-part interview below.


Brewers Pitcher John Axford Skips Post-Game Interview, Leaves Funny Note Instead


Good to see there's still some humor in the world. John Axford blew a save against the Chicago Cubs, which was shocking both because he had previously saved 49 games in a row, and because the Cubs actually won a game. After the game, Axford wasn't in the locker room, but the media was still able to get his post-game thoughts because of this adorable little handwritten note.

Jon Hamm Dishes Out Advice to Teenage Girls



Jon Hamm seems to have a pretty good life. Therefore, the Mad Men star must give some pretty good advice, right? Well, yes, yes he does. As part of Rookie magazine's "Ask a Grown Man" series, Hamm answers five questions from teenage girls, ranging from dating to style to farts. Hamm references Everyone Poops, which automatically makes him a winner in my book. As if he wasn't already. And there actually is some helpful advice in here intertwined with the comedy. Well done, Mr. Hamm.

Sunday, May 13

Ranking the Pokemon: #84- Bulbasaur


Bulbasaur is the best of the three starters, although I'm not necessarily sure Venusaur ultimately is the best, too. But at the point of the game you'd be using the starters in their unevolved forms, Bulby easily gets top billing. The main reason is that Brock, the first gym leader, uses Ground and Rock types--which Bulbasaur can easily take care of--and then Misty, the second gym leader, uses Water types, which Bulbasaur also owns. So you can knock out a quarter of the "bosses" with Bulbasaur alone. Not too shabby.

While Grass types aren't great (those three other types I mentioned really being the only thing they're strong against), they're only 4x weak to Bug attacks, which aren't going to do much damage as it is. But Grass types ARE 2x weak against a ton of common types, including Ice, Flying, Psychic and Fire. Making up for that is a resistance to Electric, although Bulbacity can't really do much damage back to 'lectrics, save for a Toxic/Leech Seed combo. Which again won't do very well, but it'll at least be consistent. Bulbasaur learns a good amount of Grass, Normal and Poison moves, and that's about it. But it's so cute, isn't it? That definitely helps its cause.

Battling Grade: C

Previously: #85- Cubone

SNL Celebrates Its 100th Digital Short



Saturday Night Live had its season finale this weekend, with Will Ferrell coming back as host. And with the finale came the 100th Digital Short. This one was a celebration of the previous 99, with all of our favorites returning. Natalie Portman, Justin Timberlake, Julian Casablancas and Michael Bolton all cameo, as well as newcomers Justin Bieber and Usher. I'm also very pleased that "Threw It On the Ground" made an appearance. Fantastic.

Saturday, May 12

Reggie Evans Gets a Technical Foul For...A High Five?



Thanks to my buddy Bobby I was able to attend Friday night's game between the Clippers and Grizzlies. Even though I really like this Memphis team, I was kind of hoping the Clippers won because I had never been to a playoff game, and might as well see a closeout one, right? Well, sadly, that didn't happen, as the Grizz ended up winning 90-88. One of those points was gifted to Memphis on a technical foul. A technical foul that I didn't understand when I saw it, and one that I still don't understand now. Apparently Reggie Evans high-fived Blake Griffin after a foul. And then he was slapped with a technical by official Marc Davis. I legitimately cannot see anything that Evans did wrong. Maybe you can?

Thursday, May 10

Google Beatbox

Goodness, Google never ceases to amaze me with their awesome ideas. Here's one that I have no idea how anyone found out...

Go to Google Translate and set the "From" language to "German." Then insert this string of gibberish below:

pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk

Click "Translate," and a little volume icon should sprout up. Rather than saying "Listen," like most languages, it the icon says "Beatbox" when you hover your mouse over it. So tap that button and listen to the awesomeness.


Ranking the Pokemon: #85- Cubone


Cubone is just a baby. It's easily in the running for smallest Pokemon out there, coming in at just 1'4" and a little over 14 pounds. Actually, looking it up, there are 20 other Generation I Pokemon that are the same height or shorter, so maybe it's not even close to the smallest. Regardless, it's certainly the most badass, and easily the most messed up, if you believe the conspiracy theorists. Which I do, because it makes the game even more interesting.

First, though, let's get Cubone's battling ability out of the way. It's a pure Ground type and has outrageously good Defense for an unevolved, with above average HP and Attack, and slow Speed and Special. You know, kind of like almost every Ground type in the game. Cubone and Marowak have not one, but TWO signature moves--Bone Club and Bonemerang. Because the pair are the only two Pokes to, you know, fight with a bone. Aside from Bonemerang being fun to say, they're like all signature moves in that they're weaker, less accurate versions of better moves (in this case, Earthquake). So even though it might be unique to learn them, you're much better off sticking with the classic.

Cubone also can learn a plethora of special attacks, but, like Hitmonchan, it suffers greatly from its porous Special rating. That's too bad, because having Earthquake, Bubblebeam, Blizzard and something like Submission would be awesome, since you'd take care of virtually every type except Water and Psychics. Which are two of the most commonly-used types, but still. But since Cubone's Special isn't very good, you're not gonna do a lot of damage, and you're gonna get a lot of damage if someone uses a Water, Ice or Grass type move on you.

However, Cubone has a very interesting and morbid backstory, and that kind of weirdness certainly helps its cause. Let's begin with the Pokedex entry. While the origin of Cubone's skull is mentioned in the Pokemon Yellow version, my personal favorite (i.e. most depressing one) is the one from Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire:


"Cubone pines for the mother it will never see again. Seeing a likeness of its mother in the full moon, it cries. The stains on the skull the Pokemon wears are made by the tears it sheds."

Allow yourself to re-read that. In a CHILDREN'S game, Cubone is basically wearing a corpse on its head. But wait, it gets even more strange. There are plenty of conspiracy theories out there about Cubone, Marowak and Kangaskhan being related. Of course Cubone and Marowak are, since they're in an evolutionary line, but the Kangaskhan, whose name is a combination of Gengis Khan and kangaroo (seriously), doesn't seem to fit in too well. Unless...that little baby in Kangaskhan's pouch can either grow up to be a Kangaskhan or a Cubone. And the Cubone skull, which looks an awful lot like Kangaskhan's head, is that little baby's dead mother. Which it is now crying inside as it becomes solitary and depressed for the rest of its life. Good job, GameFreak, now you've made us all sad.

Battling Grade: C

Wednesday, May 9

Ranking the Pokemon: #86- Charmander



Like most people, Charmander was one of the first Pokemon I ever learned about. But while most people might learn Pikachu and the three starters and then call it a day, I wanted to discover ALL 151 Pokemon. And discover them I did.

Something else I discovered is that Char Char is pretty darn good among unevolved Pokes, which makes it pretty close to the middle overall. It has very good Speed and solid Attack and Special (considering it's the first in a line of three fireballs), and can learn a barrage of decent moves, outside of the expected Fire type moves, like Dig and Dragon Rage (our first Dragon type move! Actually...it's the only Dragon move in the entire first generation of games. And it always does 40 damage. Always. So early on if Charmander knows it it's fantastic. Otherwise, meh). Plus it's overwhelmingly cute, which always gets bonus points in my book. I'd like to imagine all Pokes are kinda cuddly and fun to have as pets, even though most of them might rip my head off.

One fun fact about Charmie: Its power is drawn from the flame of its tail. I wonder what it does in a rain storm or if an overzealous birthday kid gets a little too ambitious blowing out their candles.

Battling Grade: C+

Dan Bull Makes a Facebook and Twitter Rap; Aims to Set Record For Most Torrentable Single



Yes, apparently "Most Torrentable Single" is a thing now. In any case, British humorist Dan Bull makes some pretty clever raps about Facebook and Twitter and is offering them up for download. He's also asking for a small donation if you like the tracks enough, and if you can help make history, might as well go for it, right? Bonus points for super creativity in the verses, but I peg this down a bit for using the same chorus for each song. Although it is really catchy...


Harvard Baseball Team Makes a "Call Me Maybe" Music Video, Since That's a Normal Thing To Do On a Road Trip, Right?


Ooh, this might win for "Longest Title" of anything on this blog. But it's not about me, or this blog--it's about the Harvard Crimson baseball team. They recently made a music video to Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe," which makes them the 476th person or group of people to make a music video and/or cover to that song. I personally find their dance moves basic and repetitive, but I guess there's only so much you can do in a car, especially with several people crammed in like sardines. And one guy stays asleep the entire time. Also of note is that about two thirds of the comments I read (so like 10 of 15) are comments on how cute the guys are, which surely is a record for females commenting on a YouTube video. Either way, it's pretty entertaining, especially the last soloist, so check it out. I certainly wish I had enough friends willing to do something like this. Maybe someday...