Monday, June 30

Ranking the Pokemon: #30- Kadabra


Kadabra holds a special place in my heart. You see, when I originally played Pokemon Blue, it was a bit after my friends had played, so for a very long time I was unable to trade with anyone. And my Kadabra could never turn into that very powerful Alakazam.

Of course, since Psychic types are horribly overpowered in Generation I, Kadabra can actually do some strong damage of its own. Its Special is even higher than Hypno's (a fully-evolved Pokemon), and its Speed is quite fantastic, too. That obviously comes at a price, though: Kadabra's HP, Attack and Defense are all dreadful. Like I'd probably have a higher rating if I were a Pokemon. THEY'RE THAT BAD.

Psychic goes with Kadabra (or any Psychic-type, really) like peanut butter goes with jelly, like spaghetti goes with meatballs, or like mac goes with cheese. So make sure that's on your 'dabra. In Generation II and onward, it makes more sense to throw a couple of the elemental punches into the mix, as well as maybe Calm Mind to raise Special Attack and Defense (a very Psychic-esque move, in that it's quite broken).

But this is Generation I, so let's make do with Thunder Wave to get some paralyzer action going, and Reflect to try and shore up that poor Defense while your opponent is just chillin' with paralysis. The last move, as with most Pokemon, is up to you. Double Team adds another layer of annoyance. Seismic Toss won't be affected by Kadabra's terrible Attack, just by its level, so it's a decent way to damage anyone not weak against Psychic. Dig also wasn't a terrible move back in Generation I, so you could theoretically put that on there, too. But using up two turns to do pitiful damage isn't your best option. If it was, I'd at least make a s'more during the downtime, rather than just getting my hands dirty in the ground.

Battling Grade: B

Sunday, June 29

The NBA Drafts Isaiah Austin



In case you missed it, the NBA Draft was this past week. I actually did miss some of it because the bar I was at decided to turn the TVs showing the draft to some weird anti-wrinkle cream commercial. I guess that's what I get for thinking a bar would show some sport-related thing.

Anyway, the coolest moment of the night was when the NBA selected Isaiah Austin from Baylor University. The 7'1" Austin just a few days earlier discovered he had Marfan Syndrome, a genetic disorder that can cause an enlarged heart, among other things. He was advised to stop playing basketball completely, 

The amount of positivity this kid has is just incredible. He's actually been playing with a glass eye for several years, and plans to return to Baylor to finish his degree. In addition, the NBA has already offered a position within the league once Austin graduates. Best of luck to him in the future.

Ranking the Pokemon: #31- Hypno


You are getting verrrrryyyyy sleeeeeeepy. Or, maybe you're not. That pendulum isn't moving, so I doubt your eyes would be following it and getting heavy. Oops.

Regardless, Hypno has the requisite fantastic Special rating that all the heavily overpowered Psychics have in the first game. It's also the "defensive" Psychic Pokemon, which sadly means it has decent HP and okay Defense. Hey, that Psychic type was broken enough as it is. Had to make 'em only so-so in a few traits.

Move wise, Hypno's "signature" combo is to use Hypnosis and then Dream Eater. While the idea of eating someone's dreams sounds delicious (unless they're dreaming about battery acid, or something), Hypnosis unfortunately only works 60% of the time, and Dream Eater works 0% of the time unless your opponent is asleep. So that's kind of annoying. Psychic should FO SHO be on your Hypno, because Psychic should be on any Pokemon that can learn it. While you still can use Hypnosis, I'd rather use the 100% accurate Thunder Wave. Paralysis is not nearly as good as sleep, but dat accuracy, doe. The other two moves can be any combination of Reflect, Seismic Toss, Double Team, or Hypnosis if you must. That way you can get both annoyance and solid damage against any opponent not weak against Psychic.

The main reason Hypno is this high, though? That adorable little beard/ascot thing it's got going on around its neck. Just looks so warm and fuzzy. And in the cold, cruel world of Pokemon, sometimes you need a little fuzz.

Battling Grade: B+

Saturday, June 28

Top 10 Worst Pokemon Moves of All-Time



There's nothing more I like than lists, and if it's lists of BAD things? Even better. YouTubers The J Wittz and Shofu got together to count down the 10 worst Pokemon moves from the first six generations of games. I have to say it's pretty accurate--there are one or two that I've never even seen in action, so it was nice to see just how terrible they are. Well done all around.

Friday, June 27

Honest Game Trailers: Candy Crush



Smosh TV is back with another installment of their "Honest Game Trailers" series. This time it's that frustrating freemium game, Candy Crush. I'm so glad I stopped playing this game and deleted it from my phone. What a waste of time. Funny video, though, so enjoy!

Wednesday, June 25

Ranking the Pokemon: #32- Persian


Persian is one fast mother trucker. With one of the best Speed ratings in the game, you're very likely to attack first with the red-dotted cat. And while that's great and all, it'd be nice if the rest of Persian's stats were at that same level. Or even good. Or even average, really. Attack is okay, but the other stats are all below average.

Along with Meowth, Persian is the only Pokemon that learns the move Pay Day. And as I said back then (in February 2012, which means it's been like two and a half years for me to get through about 90 Pokemon...oy vey), Pay Day is not a move worth learning. While it's great to be like "Aye, you picked up 30 Pokebucks after your battle," really, this is the equivalent to someone across the street from you carrying a bunch of cash--perhaps they're counting it--and then a great gust of wind comes and sends the money flying in all directions. Of course you bend over to pick it up and subtly keep some for yourself, because you're a terrible person. But you're really only getting like 3% of that bankroll, and it equates to chump change. So go and enjoy your Potion or your Auntie Anne's pretzel, or whatever you plan to use your Pokecash on.

As for an actual moveset you can use on Persian, Slash is an absolute must. The base power ain't great, but the STAB (a rare Normal-type STAB sighting) is, and more importantly, Slash gets a critical hit like every single time you use it. I also just learned via looking it up right now that critical hits are based on your Pokemon's Speed in Generation I. And remember how good Persian's speed is, right? If you don't, you may have amnesia. And not the Pokemon move, where it raises your special. The memory one.

Along with Slash, Persian learns some fun moves like Thunderbolt and Bubblebeam. The former is a solid addition, even with Persian's poor Special, but I'm not sure if Bubblebeam is worth wasting a move slot on. Then again, I don't know what else you'd throw in there, so why not? I like putting Double Team as the final move, because I like annoying the held out of my opponent. If you also enjoy doing that, then follow my lead. If not...I don't know, Toxic or Rest are both moves that seem good in theory but probably won't be useful. You could try one of those.

Battling Grade: B

Tuesday, June 24

Luis Suarez Bites Italian Player, Apparently This Is A Trend For Him


Uruguay's Luis Suarez did a peculiar thing in his nation's 1-0 victory over Italy today--he bit an opponent on the shoulder. Making a play on the ball alongside Giorgio Chiellini, Suarez took chompers to flesh, and then flopped a few seconds later to look like he wasn't at fault.

Except, bizarrely enough, this is THE THIRD TIME Suarez has bitten a player. He's missed 17 combined games due to biting, so he's likely done for the entire World Cup, and then some.

Giorgio Chiellini pulls down his shirt to show the bite marks.
However, Suarez was not removed from this game at all, and Uruguay went on to win. That qualifies them for the knockout stage and bounces Italy from the tournament.

This isn't the first time Suarez has found himself in a World Cup controversy: in 2010, he committed a handball on the goal line to keep Ghana from scoring. He did receive a red card then, but Uruguay won in a shootout to advance to the semifinals.

Monday, June 23

Ranking the Pokemon: #33- Moltres


Legendary madness! Moltres was the (most likely) last Pokemon you caught before the Elite Four, as it was just chillin' there in Victory Road. And you were probably like "Alright! A nice legendary sonovagun to add to my arsenal!" And then you used Moltres for a little bit and thought, "Hmm...this one isn't as good as Articuno and Zapdos." And perhaps you felt a little sad, or stung in your heart. Like you...got burned, maybe.

See, the main reason Moltres is inferior to the other two birds is that it doesn't really naturally learn a good attack (Agility is solid, but all the birdies learn that). Zapdos in particular has Drill Peck and Thunder--the best Flying move and the strongest Thunder move. Moltres instead gets Sky Attack and Fire Spin. Sky Attack has 140 base power, but all it does for one turn is make the user glow. I don't know if you caught this, but Moltres already is glowing because IT'S ALREADY ON FIRE. So, 140 base power divided over two turns means you're essentially get 70 power per turn, while Drill Peck is more accurate for 80 power per turn. DUMB. And if you're using Fire Spin, you're probably also using a Tentacool equipped with Wrap, so please just stop reading this entry.

Fortunately, TMs are here to the rescue. You'll want Fire Blast for that STAB, even though the accuracy is precocious. Hyper Beam can also utilize the strong Attack, though Double-Edge works well, too. I don't understand why nearly every creature that learns Double-Edge also learns Take Down. Double-Edge is stronger and more accurate, and they both do some recoil damage. It's like giving someone socks for Christmas when they asked for a belt; it's a good utility move, but you could have given a little extra effort and gotten something special.

Outside of Fire Blast and a Normal-type move of your choice, I honestly don't know what else to put on Moltres. I guess go with the double Psychic defense of Agility and Reflect. Moltres's worst two stats are its Speed and Defense, so if you can shore them up, that's a good thing. 

Of course, being a legendary means Moltres does still have outstanding stats--its Special is among the highest in the game, and its Attack isn't too shabby, either. Everything else is above average to good. You can do a lot worse than using Number Three, but as the weakest in terms of both type and movepool of the legendary birds, you could also do better. CAW!

Battling Grade: B+

"Dancing In The Street" Without Music Is...Just, Well, Kind Of Amazing



This is something that simultaneously never needed to happen, yet also amazing and I'm mad I didn't think of this first. It's a very simple concept: what would a music video sound like without the music? In the case of David Bowie and Mick Jagger's cover of "Dancing In The Street", it's a whole lot of gruntin'. Well job.

YouTuber Mario Wienerroither apparently has a series of these Musicless Music Videos, so if you enjoyed this, the others are probably worth checking out.

Sunday, June 22

Ranking the Pokemon: #34- Sandslash


Attack? Check. Defense? Check. Claws that rivals the current sharpness of my dog's? Check. Sandslash is a verifiable beast on the offensive and defensive end, and the weird shrew/porcupine hybrid can do some quality physical damage. Its moveset is pretty nicely laid out for it, too: Earthquake and Rock Slide FO SHO, to utilize the STAB of Ground and to get rid of any pesky fliers or the other things Rock is strong against, namely Fire and Ice. Like that song. Rock is also supereffective against Bugs, but I doubt anyone besides that random forest filled with bug trainers would in their right mind build a non "This is my stupid team and it's filled with stupid Pokemon" using a Bug type. That reminds me, why does every trainer in every Pokemon game insist on using the same types for their team? Even the Gym Leaders and the Elite Four/Eight/17/whatever it's up to now all generally have the same type for all the Pokemon they use. I'm pretty sure your rival is the only person in the game to have more than three types covered. And these are allegedly the best trainers in the land. The only logical conclusion is that people are DUMB, even in a fictional world like the Pokemon one.

Phew, that was a rant. I enjoyed it a lot, though. Swords Dance is another "I should equip my Sandslash with this move" move, since it will make your attacks absurdly high. And you can pick either a generic Normal-type attack (like Double-Edge or Body Slam) or Submission, as that'll do supereffective damage against said Normal types.

Of course, the Slashmatic 5000 does have a few things that are not as groovy--the poor Speed and Special, in particular. Speed isn't so bad; you'll just have to wait a turn before using Swords Dance and then sweeping away. But that Special hurts, a lot. If your foe subs in a Water or Grass-type, you're probably not gonna have a very good morning. The one saving grace is that Slash, when not soloing on its guitar, only moonlights as a pure Ground-type. That means the usual 4x damage for folks like Rhydon or Golem is only 2x for Slashy. And that's a win all-around. Or at least less of a loss. Like a draw in the World Cup. That's why soccer won't be popular in America.

Battling Grade: B+

Jon Lajoie - Please Use This Song



Jon Lajoie is one of the reasons why I got into making YouTube videos in the first place. His cleverness and wit is top notch, and it's parlayed him into a role on The League and some nice standup comedy tours, too.

Despite the fact Jon hasn't been doing too much on the ol' 'tube lately, he still drops in from time to time. His latest jam, "Please Use This Song," is a good example of those sort of inspiring sounding tunes that you might find in the background of any number of commercials. And it's darn catchy, too. I'd recommend turning the video off around 3:50, since the ending is pretty graphic and probably too much. But hey, the first 92% or so is groovy.

Chinese NBA Finals Recap Is Ridiculous, Hilarious

- Watch More Funny VideosThe Japanese Recap Of The Spurs Championship Win Is As Accurate As It Is Insane

A week after the Spurs won their fifth NBA Championship in 15 years, there is still hilarity to be found in this NBA season. I don't really know what news station this is, but the depiction of how the series went is spot on. Chris Bosh is a dinosaur. Chris "Birdman" Andersen is an actual bird. Tim Duncan has a motorized scooter. It's all incredible.

Ranking the Pokemon: #35- Venusaur


Venusaur is probably the best overall fully-evolved Pokemon of the three, but you'll notice it's only the second-highest one on this list (the mystery third one will be revealed when the time comes. Goodness, I'm so mysterious). Venusaur also gets some bonus points for being the "mascot" of both Pokemon Green, which is the Japanese version of Blue, and also Pokemon LeafGreen, which was basically the same game. Being the mascot means you're on the box. That's a pretty special honor.

However, the solar system's second planet-dinosaur does have a few things going against it, most notably it's dual Grass/Poison type. That means Fire hurts it a lot. And so does Ice. And so does Psychic. And so does Flying. Those are a lot of common types, and Venusaur is really only super strong against Water-types (which will probably have an Ice move in its arsenal). Poison is only useful against Grass and Bug in Generation I, and it lost that Bug domination in subsequent generations. So...you can use Venusaur's other type to battle an opposing Venusaur. So meta. 

There's also not a TON of great moves for the...tropical resort plant cat thing? Whatever it actually is. SolarBeam is the go-to Grass-type, though I actually prefer Razor Leaf for Venusaur. And maybe most Grass-types. It's base power is only 55 compared to SolarBeam's 125, but it almost ALWAYS gets a critical hit, so it ends up doing more damage over two turns than SolarBeam, since the latter is one of those annoying "I have to charge" moves. In fact, that annoying point is illustrated in this delightfully foul cartoon. Body Slam is a good Normal-type move to toss on there, and as much as I hate the Leech Seed/Toxic combo, which seems to get progressively worse every generation, Venusaur is probably the best candidate for it. If your opponent doesn't switch out they'll faint in no time, and you'll reap the benefits by getting some seed health transferred back to you. And that seed health tastes GOOD.

Finaly, Saur-Saur does have a solid base statline, as every move hovers right around the above-average mark, and an impressive Special rating. So that Razor Leaf will be aided by both STAB and a nice Special attack. Works for me. 

Battling Grade: B+

Previously: #36- Raticate

Saturday, June 21

Jimmy Fallon and Kevin Hart Get Over Their Fear of Rollercoasters on National TV



Jimmy Fallon, and in particular Kevin Hart, are both wildly afraid of rollercoasters, and everything they stand for. So, since The Tonight Show was in Orlando for the week, the pair thought they'd go on the Rip Ride Rockit at Universal Studios. Granted, a lot of this video is just screaming, but it's an exhilarating ride. Kudos for the bug that flew into and/or around Jimmy's nose during the ride.

Thursday, June 19

Ranking the Pokemon: #36- Raticate


Raticate is this high up mostly for nostalgia's sake. No, not the nostalgia of Rattata (along with Pidgey) being the first wild Pokemon you probably captured, but because Raticate looks quite a bit like a hamster I had as a child. That hamster's name was Penny and his teeth became so ridiculous--imagine Raticate's but with each of them being three inches longer than they are. They were basically falling out of his mouth. Anyway, Penny ended up biting his way through a metal cage on multiple occasions, and finally ended up in the wall. I'd assume 14-19 years later he's probably no longer with us, but I like the idea of a rogue hamster terrorizing the suburbs. Penny also reminds me of another hamster I had named Teddy, and he was AWESOME. Rolling around in the little hamster ball and hamster wheel and hanging out in the pockets of hooded sweatshirts...just tremendous value all-around.

Raticate does not have so much tremendous value, but hey, nostalgia helps on this list. I think I also had an idea of a really cool moveset for the rat, but I'm pretty sure it's from Generation II or even later. It requires Raticate learning Thunder Wave, which apparently it doesn't do in Generation I. My bad, y'all!

Anyway, with good Speed, okay Attack and bad everything else, Ratty needs some help. It gets said help with a signature move known as Super Fang. The more exquisite of the two fangs (versus Hyper Fang) does 50% of the current HP of the opposing Pokemon, rounded up. So I'm pretty sure unless that Poke has 1 HP, you're not going to actually kill it, but you can do some good work out there. Also, I believe Super and Hyper Fang are the only Normal-type moves that can do damage to Ghosts, so you can surprise a Gengar with Raticate. I guess. Or they'll probably know you'll use Super Fang since it's Raticate's one thing going for it. 

I wish Raticate's Special was even remotely...well, special, because then you could toss Thunderbolt, Blizzard and Bubblebeam on the rat and call it a day. But don't do that, because with that atrocious Special you won't be doing any damage. Instead, I'd put Double Team on there for annoyance sake and to try to make up for the poor HP/Defense. Double-Edge isn't a bad idea either, because two moves with "double" in their name must mean you do four times the damage, right? Maybe not, but since you have such little HP, who cares about a bit of recoil? I sure don't, that's why I'm recommending Double-Edge as a move. Plus you get that Same Type Attack Bonus, doe. The fourth move is litchral filler--throw Dig or Toxic on there for all I care. If you do decide to utilize a Special move, Blizzard or Thunderbolt would be the best choices. Just don't be surprised when it's super effective but only doing like 20 damage to your opponent's HP.

Battling Grade: C

Dave Chappelle Discusses The First Time He Met Kanye West



Dave Chappelle is doing a string of shows at Radio City Music Hall, and that means the general public is graced with his presence on all of the late night talk shows. The best one I've seen thus far is from a couple nights ago, when Dave joined Jimmy Fallon for a little Late Night session. Dave talks about how he met The Roots and got them on his show, and also the first time he met Kanye West. And as you can probably guess, it was RIDICULOUS.

Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone Fight Back Against Paparazzi


Genius. Though apparently Autism Speaks is not the best site. Oh well, A+ for effort.


Wednesday, June 18

"Frankenfood" Brings Craziness To The Kitchen



Ever mixed a few things while cooking that others might consider a monstrosity? Well, Spike TV has the show for you--"Frankenfood", which features unlikely combinations of food that usually, but not always, results in deliciousness. One such example is a spaghetti-filled hamburger, which, personally, sounds incredible. And hey, it's at least fun to try something new, right?

The show is promoting itself via free food truck in a number of cities. Austin is one of those cities, and the list of stops is below. So if you're around the area (and Austin is small enough that you're basically always around the area), come grab some free food!

Wednesday 11am - 2pm: The Park on Barton Creek - 3711 S. Mopac Espressway
Thursday 5pm - 9pm: Austin Beerworks 3009 Industrial
Friday 11am - 2pm: Riata Corporate Park 12331 B Riata Trace Parkway


Your Daily Song: "In Remission" by The Menzingers



Hot dog, this song is catchy. Those yells at the end, doe.

Monday, June 16

NBA Mean Tweets Are Back!



The NBA season is finally in the books, with the Spurs knocking off the Heat in five games to capture their fifth championship in the last 16 years. Fortunately, something that ISN'T over is people taking to Twitter to insult basketball players. Jimmy Kimmel Live is back with another NBA edition of Mean Tweets, and once again, absolute kudos to the creativity of some of these insults.

Saturday, June 14

Ranking the Pokemon: #37- Arcanine



Arcanine is again one of the more real-life looking Pokemon, as it's basically just a dog with a perm. Allegedly, it can run 6000 miles in 24 hours...that's like 99 marathons. Yet somehow, Speed isn't Arcy's highest stat. Weird. 

That's not to say the 'canine's Speed is bad, because it isn't. It's solid, along with everything else. Attack is the highest, though, which of course does not take advantage of STAB. What a joke. And Arcanine is one of the few Pokemon who gets the low end of the "Special Split" in subsequent generations, when Special became Special Attack and Special Defense. Doing this list, I've noticed more Pokes than not have a Special Attack the same as their Special, but Arcanine actually gains 20 more Special Attack in Generation II and onward. So it IS, in fact, better the older it gets. Like a fine wine.

Arcanine naturally knows a whopping four moves (all useless ones), and it learns three more as Growlithe before you evolve the Growler with the Fire Stone. Fortunately, TMs make it somewhat viable as an attacker. Flamethrower is a must to take advantage of that same type goodness. Reflect is solid, too, since Defense is Arcanine's worst stat and you can shore it up a lil' bit. Agility is also not a bad call to raise Arcanine's Speed against faster foes, and while it can learn both Dig and Dragon Rage, randomly, neither one of those are that good. But golly, you need to take advantage of that Attack at least a little bit, so Double-Edge or Hyper Beam is probably the way to go. Fun fact: If Arcanine gets attacked by a Hyper Beam or Flamethrower of its own, its hair does not get singed off. It's like a news anchor...just perfect coif.

Battling Grade: B

Friday, June 13

Man Trapped In Airport Alone Decides To Film Music Video

All by myself from Richard Dunn on Vimeo.

Having just flown internationally, I know all about long layovers and how terrible they are. Though while I usually spend mine trying to get some shuteye, or perhaps writing or reading a book, Richard Dunn has a different idea: make a music video.

Stuck in Las Vegas's McCarran Airport with pretty much nothing to do and very few people around, Dunn shot an entire music video set to Celine Dion's cover of Eric Carmen's "All By Myself." He used moving walkways to get some cool dolly scenes, and even recreated a shot from Flashdance. Great way to spend a few hours.

Even better? Celine Dion saw the video and loved it. She invited Dunn to come hang out with her next time, or at least to use her bathroom.

Ice Cube Gets Upset Over Nice Things



Rapper turned actor Ice Cube is back on the big screen, as 22 Jump Street opens this weekend. Conveniently, he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote said film. And if there's one thing Cube does well, it's have an attitude. Jimmy gives him a list of things to read, and none of them should ever cause anger at all. Cube says 'em all with blinding rage, and it's wonderful.

Oh, and he's still waiting for that bisque.

Thursday, June 12

3 Ridiculous Question With Kobe Bryant



I don't know if I've ever watched an entire episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. The best strategy for the show is to just wait for clips like this one to be posted and then enjoy it in 2-4 minute spurts.

With the NBA season nearing its end, Jimmy Kimmel sat down with Kobe Bryant and asked him three really weird questions. And Kobe once again demonstrates his underrated humor with some very solid answers. Enjoy, and if this is any indication of the possibilities, I sure do hope this becomes a regular segment.

Wednesday, June 11

Ranking the Pokemon: #38- Blastoise


Quite possibly a distant relative of Bowser, Blastoise is one of the more popular Pokemon out there. But for that lazy design, as well as the fact that Blastoise's turrets only are used for one move (Hydro Pump, which I like less than Surf), it suffers a bit. The big blue beast was the final evolution of Squirtle, until GameFreak introduced a Mega Evolve feature, so now Blastoise can become Mega Blastoise using the Blastoisinite. I just...I don't even...

Anyway, Blastoise is interesting because its best stat is its Defense, which most Water-types do not often utilize. The rest of its stats all hover around average, but hey, there's no major weaknesses. And as the rapper Houston once said, "I like dat."

Blastoise is a pure Water-type; it doesn't have that dual Ice-type that most Waters do. Of course, that doesn't help give Blizzard STAB, but it does take away a few needless weaknesses. You'll definitely want to outfit Blastoise with Surf, and Earthquake isn't a bad call either, since Blasty can...blast...the earth...with its big butt...and cause...quakes...yeah. I think I wrapped that sentence up quite nicely, if I do say so myself. 

That last move is up to you--Submission can take care of any Normal-types you come across (or fellow Water-types that are also Icees). Alternatively, you can go full tank mode: Surf, Reflect, Double Team and Rest. Not only will you have absurdly high Defense, you'll be harder to hit, AND when your HP is low you can replenish it. I apologize in advance for the friends you'll probably lose if you pull out this method. But that's assuming anyone still plays original Pokemon games.

By the way...two fish were in a tank. One turns to the other and says "You man the guns. I'll drive."

Battling Grade: B+

Mila Kunis Doesn't Like Men Saying They're Pregnant



Apparently men saying "we're pregnant" is a thing, or at least enough of a problem that Mila Kunis was able to go on a clearly-staged rant against the whole process. I've heard people say "we're expecting" or "we're having a child," which I think are both perfectly acceptable statements. But hey, the phrase "goblin baby" cracks me up, so enjoy!

Tuesday, June 10

Ranking the Pokemon: #39- Victreebel


Victreebel has to be a Top 5 Ugliest Pokemon, so it's definitely got that going for it. It looks like a squash/gourd that is horribly spoiled, and it's holding up its side leaves like "Yeah, I'm ugly. Whatcha gonna do?"

What we're going to do, Victreebel, is hope your stats and moveset can make up for your hideous appearance. We're trying to Ugly Duckling this bad boy. So straighten up and fly right.

Statwise, Victreebel has both strong Attack and Special, so it's more resistant against its main weaknesses (Fire, Ice, Psychic...curse you dual Poison-type!). And it can dole out some damage with a variety of Grass-type moves. Well, really just one. But we'll get to that. HP is above average, and Speed is actually really good for a Grass-type. Which means it's below average to right in the middle of the road. Well job, Victree.

As far as moves go, the hideous plant can learn a ton of highly inaccurate but also highly annoying moves, like Stun Spore and Sleep Powder. It can also learn PoisonPowder, which interestingly enough is one word. Why? I do not know. If I was making a 'bel set, though, I'd go with Stun Spore/Sleep Powder, SolarBeam, Reflect and Body Slam/Double-Edge. Might as well take advantage of that useful Attack while shoring up the subpar Defense. Just don't look directly into Victreebel's mouth. Or you might actually die.

Battling Grade: B-

Previously: #40- Machoke 


Listen to Rise Against's New Song: I Don't Wanna Be Here Anymore



Chicago rockers Rise Against have a new album dropping on July 15. But until The Black Market is released in about a month, the band is hoping single "I Don't Wanna Be Here Anymore" will tide listeners over. And it sounds quite a bit like the group's recent work--in fact, it would fit right at home on 2008's Appeal to Reason. Lots of "hey"s, crunchy guitars, and repeats of the chorus. A catchy number, but I'm hoping the album as a whole offers a bit more diversity.

Mary Poppin Dem Pills



Comedian Todrick Hall is back with another gangsta rendition of an otherwise pleasant cartoon/fairy tale. This time it's Mary Poppins. And instead of a spoonful of sugar, he's got a spoonful of something else--crushed up drugs. Whether that room ever actually got cleaned is a story for another day.

Monday, June 9

Weezer Drummer Catches Frisbee During Song, Crowd Goes Wild



Patrick Wilson of Weezer has been drumming for quite some time. He's probably most memorable for running around his drum kit in the "Undone (The Sweater Song)" video, as well as being Miss Piggy's love interest in the group's "Keep Fishin'" music video. Apparently he's also a professional badass. During a performance of "Beverly Hills," someone from the crowd tosses a frisbee at the drummer. He catches it without missing a beat. Incredible.

Saturday, June 7

Ranking the Pokemon: #40- Machoke


Goodness, now that I see Machoke's picture, I kind of regret putting him this high. Look at that vacant stare and his slovenly pose. He also has arms that look like a kid who's skateboarded down "Murderer's Canyon" one too many times. In other words, they look like they're covered in scrapes. And its name used to be "Kung-Foo." Yikes.

Machoke is also simultaneously modest and vain, according to various Pokedex entries. In The Official Pokemon Handbook (yes that's a real thing, apparently), it often looks at its reflection, so much so to the point that it'll stop fighting because it's too busy staring at itself. That explains the stupid grin on its face, at least. But in Pokemon Stadium, Machoke is allegedly very strong, but always modest. STOP CONFUSING US, GAMEFREAK. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

Anyway, onto the actual battling portion of the 'chokester. The Attack, like nearly every Fighting-type ever, is very good, and the HP and Defense ain't nothin' to sneeze at, either. Of course, Speed and Special aren't great, though Machoke's Special is probably the highest of any fighter in Generation I. So it's nice to know you likely won't be killed in one hit from a Psychic or Flyer. 

Movewise, you can learn a plethora of Fighting-type attacks, plus Earthquake to take care of those pesky Electric-types. And to utilize Machoke's awesome Attack. There are other moves to add, but we'll really delve into that with Machamp. Gotta save something for the champ, right?

Battling Grade: B-

The Evolution Of Arcade Gaming

Avid readers of this site know I'm a big fan of video games. I may not play them as much as I used to, but I still love to talk about 'em. And I know they have an extensive history, so why not take a little trip down memory lane? Check out this cool infographic on the evolution of arcade gaming.

Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 1Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 2Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 3Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 4Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 5Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 6Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 7Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 8Evolution Of The Arcade - Part 9
Some of the most popular arcade games of all time from M&P Amusement.