Monday, March 30

SNL Remakes Bambi With 100 Percent More Badassery


Disney has recently been on a tear of remaking old animated classics into live-action feature films. So it's only fitting that their next foray would be Bambi. And thanks to SNL, the deer is after vengeance for the death of his mother. Join Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Taran Killam as Vin Diesel, Jay Pharaoh as Tyrese Gibson and Cecily Strong as Michelle Rodriguez, as they take on those dastardly hunters once and for all. It's time to get bucked.

Fan Recreates First Level Of Super Mario 64




Even if you've barely played Super Mario 64, that iconic first level of Bomb-omb Battlefield should be etched in your memory. And now, nearly 20 years later, a fan named Erik Ross has recreated the level. Of course, it can only be played on Unity and is missing a few of the major things from the original game--the red coins, the Chain Chomp, the King Bomb-omb. But it's still pretty cool to see Mario with updated graphics. Mama mia.

Sunday, March 29

Joseph Currency Is Staying Sober At The House Party


Joseph Currency just dropped the first single from his third album, The Album Drop, due out on May 12. And it is QUITE fantastic. Tap your toes and nod your head, and enjoy.

Saturday, March 28

Groupon's Banana Bunker Is A Clinic In Social Media Management


Pictured above is the Banana Bunker. It's something Groupon has to sell from time to time, and all it does is provide a sheath for your bananas. Of course, it also kind of looks like a dildo, and the internet certainly did their worst at trying to break Groupon's spirit. But that's an impossible task. Enjoy some of Groupon's responses below, and feel free to visit its Facebook page to see everything in action.



Friday, March 27

15 Dream Jobs You Never Knew Existed

To be fair, I did know that a handful of these jobs existed. Either way, pretty cool infographic from Savoo on the different types of dream professions you can have, along with an average salary and a few other fun facts. Dream big, kids!




Thursday, March 26

This Golden Retriever Is Laughably Bad At Catching Food



Meet Fritz. He is a dog who is woefully bad at catching food. Granted, some of these items are things you should never really be feeding a dog anyway, let alone tossing to one. But to see Fritz try not once but twice to snag the same piece of grub out of the air is pure joy. And everything ends happily, so yay!


Wednesday, March 25

Tom Hanks And James Corden Recreate Every Tom Hanks Movie In 8 Minutes


 

Tom Hanks is one of the great actors of our time. And James Corden wanted to use his new show to showcase that. The duo pair up for a pretty entertaining seven-ish minutes of acting out every Hanks movie. I'm sure there are a couple missing from the list, but they nailed all the big ones. And that's the most important thing.

Tuesday, March 24

Villanova Piccolo Girl Joins The Roots On The Tonight Show

 

Villanova student Roxanne Chalifoux has had quite the tumultuous week. After her Wildcats were knocked out of the NCAA Tournament by North Carolina State, the TBS cameras caught her crying while still trudging along and playing her piccolo. Naturally, the internet had a field day with it.

Jimmy Fallon gets in on the fun, too, inviting her to play with The Tonight Show house band The Roots. She also gets a swag pack, complete with a ton of mementos and two Taylor Swift tickets. All for crying on national television. Dang. I better work on my tearing up methods. Someone grab a camera, quick.


Monday, March 23

More March Madness Mayhem With Chris Hayes



My bracket is all but busted. If yours is in the same boat, you could use the soothing, cheerful voices of Chris Hayes and myself. We re-do our Final Four based on the current 16 (though many of our initial selections still hold), and discuss some of our favorite moments and the biggest surprises from the first weekend of the tournament. Your March hasn't been mad enough. Let's fix that.

Sunday, March 22

Will Ferrell And Kevin Hart's Failed Audition Tapes


Get Hard, the latest Kevin Hart film that probably will not get very good reviews, also features Will Ferrell. The pair, it turns out, have actually auditioned for several movies in which the other actor has gotten the role. See Kevin Hart try to portray Ron Burgundy, Will Ferrell give it a go as a security guard, and plenty more in these failed audition tapes.

Saturday, March 21

Willie Cauley-Stein Ends Cincinnati's Entire Season With A Dunk In The First Half


The Kentucky Wildcats rolled to a 13-point victory over the Cincinnati Bearcats in the Round of 32, but really, the game could have been called after this play in the first half. Kentucky's Willie Cauley-Stein just demoralizes Cincinnati's Quadri Moore with a dunk. I mean...look at Moore. He still doesn't know what's going on.


First Baseman Records Solo Double Play At Third Base


If the title of this post sounds like some kind of wacky Mad-Lib, I don't blame you. Yes, I'm aware March Madness is happening, and that this is a Spring Training game. But it's still rare enough that it'll get some attention. Plus the player making the play is named Joey Terdoslavich. A fellow Joey will ALWAYS get a mention.

Anyway, with runners on first and third, Kolten Wong of the Cardinals hits a chopper to the Braves' Terdoslavich over at first. He gets Yadier Molina out, who was hung up in between third base and home, then races over to tag Dean Anna, who was rounding second at full speed. The whole thing is pretty entertaining. Enjoy!

How To Pick The Perfect Bracket With Metta World Peace


This is quite the funny concept that actually stays chuckleworthy throughout. Metta World Peace's acting is probably better than it's ever been. Is that saying anything? No, but still. Baby steps. Best line: "Your office has a pool? Where do you work, Google?"

Thursday, March 19

16 Observations And Facts From Day 1 Of March Madness


Don't you just love this time of year? The number of fires increases by 60,000% as people burn their brackets across the nation. Trendy upset picks fail, trendy title contenders fail, and things you thought were clever end up failing. How many times can I say fail? Probably as many times as the number of picks I got wrong today. So...several more "fails" are on the way.

1. Louisville easily had the most exciting region: UAB and UCLA won by identical 60-59 scores, and Cincinnati and Purdue (who were tied at 59 going into overtime) won 66-65. Then Kentucky and Hampton played. Oh well. You can't win 'em all. Unless you're Kentucky. Jacksonville was a close second, with three games coming down to the final possession.


2. UNC's Marcus Paige said "it's fun to be the underdog" after his No. 4 Tar Heels beat No. 13 Harvard. Okay, Marcus.

3. It's unfathomable that Baylor lost its game. To be up by 12 with 2:54 left and then not score again is a terrible way to finish what had been a decent performance up to that point. Terrific job by Georgia State to press and force mistakes on Baylor's end, but goodness, what a disaster.

4. Speaking of which, Georgia State coach Ron Hunter has had a rough couple of weeks. After tearing his achilles celebrating his team's victory that punched 'em a ticket to the Big Dance, Hunter had to sit on a stool with wheels for this game. When his son R.J. hit the game-winning three-pointer, Hunter's reaction was...well, not the most graceful. 


5. The state of Texas went 0-5 and is out of the tournament entirely. After one day. Ohio, meanwhile, had the best state record, going 3-0 (though one of those wins was Dayton beating Boise State at home by one point, and that happened Wednesday).

6. There were a LOT of stupid plays down the stretch of games, but the dumbest has to be Yanick Moreira's goaltend at the end of the SMU-UCLA game. Bruins guard (and coach's son) Bryce Alford threw up an off-balanced, contested three-pointer that had ZERO percent chance of going in. Moreira didn't care. He was determined to touch that ball, and got called for goaltending. I don't understand why this has been controversial. It was 100% goaltending, and 100% stupid. It's also 100% sad because Moreira is a senior, and that was his final collegiate game.


7. UCLA winning doesn't validate their inclusion into the field. Just like Texas and Ole Miss losing doesn't mean people get to say "I told you so." The Bruins shouldn't have been in at all. They're making the most of their opportunity, so good on them, but they didn't play well enough to earn a bid during the season, and it's frustrating that they'll now be advancing.

8. I thought the Big 12 was supposed to be the best conference?

9. There were five games decided by one point (an NCAA record for a single day) and another by two points.

10. Combined, Kentucky, Villanova and Arizona won by 85 points. The other 13 games? A combined 61 points.

11. Ever so briefly (or maybe for a full year if there are no upsets tomorrow), the 11/6 matchup has more upsets than the 12/5. They had come in with 44 apiece, but 12-seeds went 0-2 while 11s went 1-2.

12. This cracks me up because I live in Austin: James Harden scored 50 points in a Rockets win. Every college team except one scored at least that many points. The lone exception? The Texas Longhorns, of course, who only managed 48.

13. The last time two 3-seeds lost their first game? You'd have to go back to 1995, when Villanova and Michigan State fell to Old Dominion and Weber State, respectively.

14. For how many close games there were, there were actually zero second-half buzzer beaters. The closest was the Wolfpack of North Carolina State, who hit a game winner with 0.1 seconds left. That reminds me...

15. Do you know why March Madness is so exciting? Because teams are so inconsistent and crappy down the stretch that even what appears to be a safe lead is, in fact, in peril. Great example: LSU missed their final 12 field goals and six free throws to blow it against N.C. State.

16. I'll end with my most egregious bracket selection I've ever made: I chose Iowa State to make the championship. They lost the second game of the day. Just like that, my bracket went up in flames. What's the most amazing part of all this? Every year, Yahoo! Sports' Pat Forde does a "Dream/Nightmare Scenario" for each team in the tournament, discussing basically the best and worst things that can happen for each team, with colorful metaphors and whatnot. Iowa State's dream scenario? They win the whole thing while Iowa loses in the first round. Their nightmare scenario? Beating UAB and then losing to SMU in the second round. Let me repeat that: THEY COULDN'T EVEN GET TO THEIR NIGHTMARE SCENARIO. Just a terrible display of basketball.

Wednesday, March 18

Brian: The Greatest '30 For 30' Never Made


ESPN's 30 for 30 series is usually quite entertaining. Covering all kinds of events from the world of sports, you'll always come away having learned something new. Unfortunately, there was one documentary that never saw its way to full completion.

That episode is "Brian," in honor of Brian Scalabrine. The former baller turns 36 today, and he was a fan favorite everywhere he went. The "White Mamba" has a terrific personality and great skills to boot. Enjoy what could have been.

President Obama Reads Mean Tweets About Himself


Ohh, those trolls on Twitter! This time, they're going after Barack Obama. Fortunately, Jimmy Kimmel was around with a camera rolling. Check out an all-Obama edition of Mean Tweets.

Tuesday, March 17

Jimmy Kimmel And Matthew McConaughey Make Local Television Commercials For Vulcan Video


Vulcan Video is an Austin landmark--it's still alive and kickin', despite having a collection of old VHS tapes for rental. Granted, they have plenty of DVDs as well, making for an absurdly large and obscure collection that puts Netflix to shame. It also just oozes that kind of 90s/early 2000s charm that Blockbuster and whatever that other video store that was basically the same thing as Blockbuster didn't really have.

Fortunately, Jimmy Kimmel is in town for SXSW, and he wants to help out ol' Vulcan Video. He's brought along Austin (well, technically Round Rock) native Matthew McConaughey to put together three bitchin' spots for the video store. They even come complete with tracking. Check 'em out!

John Oliver Talks About The NCAA, And It's GLORIOUS


Last Week Tonight with John Oliver is almost always spot on with its commentary on various social issues in the world. This most recent segment, about the NCAA and its lack of compensation for its athletes (just in time for March Madness!), is full of hilarity. Oliver pokes fun at the numerous holes in the NCAA, particularly president Mark Emmert and Clemson football coach Dabo Sweeney, who's gone on record as saying he's opposed to paying collegiate athletes. There's a ton of great jokes in here, and it's well worth the 21 minutes. Enjoy!

Monday, March 16

Walk Off The Earth Perform "Shake It Off" With Shakers


Walk Off The Earth is one of the greater cover bands out there. A little while back, they recorded a version of Taylor Swift's tune "Shake It Off," using a ton of shakers. On a beach. This most certainly is the life.

Sunday, March 15

The Last Bison's New EP "Dorado" Is Incredible


Chesapeake, VA band The Last Bison is coming to Austin for SXSW, and I, for one, am quite excited. The band just released an EP, Dorado, which is four songs full of catchy, folksy, aural paradise. They're playing in Austin on Wednesday, March 18 with two separate shows that are absolutely worth checking out:

3/18 - Conscious Immaturity @ Shiner's Saloon (1:30pm)
3/18 - SXSW Official Showcase @ Esther's Follies (4:30pm)

Lead singer Ben Hardesty was gracious enough to take a few minutes to chat with me about life on the road, his dream tour, BBQ, and the strangest place The Last Bison has ever played. All terrific stuff. Check out the interview below, and pardon the occasional technical difficulty. That's what I get for trying a new recording setup!



Saturday, March 14

Freebirds Hosting Four Day SXSW Extravaganza At St. Vincent's


One of the best parts of SXSW is the chance to hear new music. Thanks to Freebirds, you have a VERY good chance of doing that next week. Their sixth annual live music fundraising event is going on from March 18-21 at St. Vincent de Paul (1327 South Congress). Browse local artisan booths and enjoy Freebirds fare while 40 different bands jam over the course of four days.

Funds from donations, food and beverage sales at this year’s showcase will go towards a new a mobile store and distribution center that will supply clothing, personal hygiene items and household necessities to underserved parts of Austin. Check out the lineup below:

WEDNESDAY, March 18th  
Noon - 12:30  - John Arthur Martinez
12:45 - 1:15  - Luke Bell 
1:30 - 2:00 -   Chris Porter 
2:15 - 2:45 -  The Seratones 
3:00 - 3:30 -  Kristin Diable 
3:45 - 4:15 -  Brian Whelan (from Dwight Yoakam's band)
4:30 - 5:00 -  The O’s
5:15 - 5:45 - Whiskey Shivers
6:00 - 6:30 - Sol Driven Train 
6:45 - close  - Two Tons of Steel 

THURSDAY, March 19th
Noon - 12:30 - Jake LaBotz 
12:45 - 1:15 - Paul Renna 
1:30 - 2:00  -  The Memphis Dawls
2:15 - 2:45 -  Shurman
3:00 - 3:30 -  Ian Moore 
3:45 - 4:15 -  Kevin Kinney & Friends (from Drivin' N Cryin')
4:30 - 5:00 -  Jonathan Tyler
5:15 - 5:45 -  The Mastersons
6:00 - 6:30 - American Aquarium
6:45 - close -  Roxy Roca 

FRIDAY, March 20th
Noon - 12:30 - Song Swap with Rodney "The Pie Man" Henry & Mark Edgar Stuart 
12:45 - 1:15 -  Liv Mueller
2:15 - 2:45 -   Ronnie Fauss 
3:45 - 4:15 -  The Bar Brawl III
4:30 - 5:00 -  Rosie Flores 

6:00 - close -  Ray Wylie Hubbard

SATURDAY, March 21st
Noon - 12:30   - Song Swap with Rodney "The Pie Man" Henry & Mark Edgar Stuart 
12:45 - 1:15 -  Middle Class Murder 
1:30 - 2:00 -   Lucette
2:15 - 2:45 - Josh Buckley 
3:45 - 4:15 -  Nocona
4:30 - 5:00 -  Buggaboo
5:15 - 5:45 -  The Berkshire Hounds
6:00 - 6:30 -  Deadman
6:45 - close - T Bird & The Breaks 

Friday, March 13

Music Export Canada Presents Canadian Blast At SXSW 2015


What's better than music and BBQ? The answer, of course, is absolutely nothing. Luckily, our friends from up north at Music Export Canada are putting on a pretty terrific showcase during SXSW that features both said music and copious amounts of smoked meat. 

This year, the Canadian Independent Music Associate is celebrating the 10th anniversary of the event, so you know it'll be a good one. Check out canadianblast.com for full lineups, and come say hey if you stop by. I'll most likely be hovering around the brisket.



Thursday, March 12

Conan Hosts A Week Of Shows In Cuba, Hilarity Ensues


Conan. In. Cuba. That's really all you need to know about this video to know it'll be hilarious. I mean, just take a gander at his suit! White on white never looked so good.

Tuesday, March 10

Man Covers "Uptown Funk" Using Family Guy Voices


It's pretty difficult to go a day without hearing "Uptown Funk," the...well, funky song from Mark Ronson, featuring Bruno Mars's smooth, creamy vocals. But sometimes you want to mix things up. That's where Mikey Bolts comes in. He covers the tune using cartoon voices. If you've ever dreamed of hearing Stewie Griffin croon that he's "smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy," your dreams have come true. Enjoy!


Monday, March 9

Big Harp Releases Fast, Catchy Single "It's A Shame"


It's rare for a single nowadays to be under two minutes--in fact, the only two I can think of off the top of my head are "Fell In Love With a Girl" by The White Stripes and "All I Want" by The Offspring, and those were both released more than ten years ago. Well, let's add a third one to that list. Big Harp just dropped "It's a Shame" from their upcoming 7", which is dropping tomorrow via Fat Possum. 

Definitely one you'll be tapping your toe to, and the husband/wife duo are going out on tour. Dates below--check 'em out if they're in your neck of the woods!

3/13 - Las Vegas - VIVA VEGAS festival - playing with 1975 Terrors and PPL MVR
3/19 - Austin / SXSW - Maggie Mae’s Gibson Room - 7pm
3/20 - Austin / SXSW - Sledgehammer - 730pm
3/28 - Vancouver, CAN - Media Club *
3/29 - Seattle, WA - Rendezvous *
3/30 - Portland, OR - Star *
4/02 - San Francisco, CA - DNA *

* playing with Francisco The Man

WWE Moves On Girls


I don't know how this guy convinced this girl to be a part of this video, but it's magical. He's basically just performing WWE finishing moves on her into a pool. Simple concept, and I suppose simple execution. But still glorious. The added commentary is a nice touch.

Sunday, March 8

Big Sean Can't Yawn


Big Sean works hard to not f*ck witchoo. But when he gets sleepy, he just can't let the world know via yawn. He'd either have to tell you, or simply go to sleep. And that's just plain rude.

Saturday, March 7

Spirits and Beer Collide With Thump Keg Brewing Co's Agave Amber Ale and Rye IPA


Guess what, y'all? Spring is almost here, and that means refreshing drinks are a MUST. Luckily, Thump KegTM Brewing Co. is here to the rescue with their debut beers: Agave Amber Ale and Rye IPA. They were kind enough to send me a sample of the Agave Amber Ale. And let me tell you, it's quite delightful. 

Both brews combine inventive beer styles with the ingredients used to distill spirits--the Agave Amber Ale is brewed with the signature blue agave from Peligroso Tequila, and the Rye IPA incorporates the same grains used in the distillation of George Dickel Whisky. Neither beer contains any level of tequila or whisky, but at least in the case of the Agave Amber Ale, there was a nice crisp flavor.

The beers will be available in four test markets at an SRP of $9.49/6 pack. Check out your local neighborhood store soon. After all, you may just have a new drink to enjoy.

Thursday, March 5

RIP Daniel von Bargen


Actor Daniel von Bargen, who made hundreds of television, film and stage performances, died Sunday due to complications from diabetes. For me, I'll most remember him as the lieutenant from Malcolm in the Middle, and of course, as Mr. Kruger from Seinfeld. Above his a clip showcasing all of Kruger's finest moments from the show.

Diversity & Inclusion Shows Love Has No Labels


This is pretty cool, and will probably cause some teary eyes. The Ad Council put together a giant X-ray display, featuring skeletons hugging, kissing, dancing, and doing all sorts of other skeletal activities. Then the subjects peer out from behind the display, and...well, it's worth watching the video to see. Set to Macklemore's "Same Love," this'll give you all the warmest fuzzies.

Wednesday, March 4

SXSW Showcases at Banger's and Liberty Tavern

It's March, so any Austinite worth his or her salt knows that SXSW is upon us. And the best way to embrace the festival is by planning ahead. That's what we're here for. Check out a pair of the finer showcases below:

DESCRIPTION: Banger’s, home to the city’s widest selection of hand-crafted sausage plus more than 100 beers on tap, will present a full week of live music in celebration of SXSW. All shows are FREE and provided by local talent with the exception of two bands based in the U.K. and New York. Performances take place in the outdoor beer garden and start at noon with the exception of Monday, 3/16 and Saturday, 3/21.

WHERE: Banger’s Sausage House & Beer Garden (highlighted acts = new additions)
79 Rainey Street, Austin, TX 78701



       

Description:

Liberty Tavern will again host SXSW’s Second Play Stage, featuring a diverse lineup of up and coming bands starting nightly at 6pm. Entry is FREE and open to all ages; arrive early as space is limited.

Liberty Tavern will kick off the music festival on St. Patrick’s Day serving pints of Guinness with Chef Carlos’ crispy Fish n’ Chips.

Where:
500 East 4th Street Austin, TX 78701
Garage parking is available at the Hilton and Convention Center. Street parking is also available.




SNL: Say What You Wanna Say


Remember that Sara Bareilles song "Brave" that was in like every commercial ever a few years back? If not, the above clip will quickly remind you about it. The ladies of Saturday Night Live actually say what's on their mind, rather than worrying about being polite or friendly. Wish we could all be so brave.

Sunday, March 1

Carly Rae Jepsen Has A New Single, And It Is CATCHY


Carly Rae Jepsen burst into our hearts right around the start of 2012 with "Call Me Maybe," a song that you litchrally could not escape from.

And now, she's released another jam that will probably be overplayed to death all summer long. I think I'm okay with that.

"I Really Like You" has that sort of 80s vibe to it, which is just fantastic. I imagine this will be blasted from speakers, perhaps being held over one's head. I just hope the Olympic team doesn't do a dance to this one.