Monday, September 29

Paul Konerko Gives Thanks To White Sox Fans With Understated Tribute Video

Paul Konerko has gotta be one of the most underrated players in recent history. The man hit 432 home runs in his career, second only to Frank Thomas, and was still putting up great numbers, even in his mid-30s. He's retiring to spend some more time with his kids, which is just fantastic. Thanks for getting Chicago a World Series back in '05, Paul. We'll miss ya.

Saturday, September 27

Most Expensivest $hit With 2 Chainz

A common theme in rap and hip-hop is bragging about excess. 2 Chainz is no stranger to said excess--he has a personal chef with him at all times, and hey, if you have the money, why not be a little extravagant from time to time.

Chainz has turned that notion of "let's do it big or not do it at all" into a GQ series entitled "Most Expensivest $hit." The first three episodes are available here, and I've put my personal favorite above, which features a $295 hamburger. Even without tasting the burger, which is topped with caviar and encased in a gold-covered bun, I can wholeheartedly say it's not worth it. Fortunately, all of the profits go to a New York homeless shelter, though hearing the explanation of what goes into this burger, it seems like the profits are maybe .01% of the total cost.

If you're in NYC and have a few Benjamins to drop, feel free to let us know how the burger tastes. And stay tuned for more expensivest ish with 2 Chainz.

Friday, September 26

Andy Samberg and Jimmy Fallon Square Off In 5-Second Movie Summaries

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon featured a nifty little game the other night, entitled "5-Second Summaries." Guest Andy Samberg and Jimmy Fallon tried to describe a movie in just five seconds, and the other had to guess. Not sure if the prize is Sambergers, Zuckerbergers, or just pride, but it's pretty entertaining. Well job, you two.

Thursday, September 25

Cuba Gooding Jr. Makes Goal During Hockey Intermission, Proceeds To Strip

Cuba Gooding Jr. What a character. Visiting Chicago to help promote some new television show he's on, the actor nailed a slapshot during intermission of a Blackhawks game. He then took off his sweater, and ripped off his shirt, as well, going topless on the ice. It's cold out there, but no matter. Mr. Gooding Jr. is ON IT. As one of the few celebrities I've seen in public (he was being very jovial and crazy then), it's good to see he's still up to his antics. Well done, Cuba. Well done.

Wednesday, September 24

Ranking the Pokemon: #8- Golduck

There's absolutely no reason Golduck should be this high, but I really like it. It was the first Pokemon I ever got to Level 100, so it's definitely got that nostalgic factor for me. I'm also a big fan of its battle cry in Pokemon Stadium, and that red dot in its forehead is so sharp.

Statwise, Golduck is absolutely average all across the board. I guess it's good that it doesn't have any major weaknesses, but it also doesn't have any major strengths, so it's all a wash. Looking at it now, the face kinda looks like that pun dog meme, which makes me like Goldy even more.

The best moveset for Golduck involves a little Pokemon Stadium trickery. I believe you need to get all 151 Pokemon into the Hall of Fame, and then you can teach your Psyduck (who you will then evolve into Golduck) the move Amnesia. In Generation I, it sharply raises your Special stat, which is absurdly broken. Pair it with three Special moves and you're doing aight. Surf is the way to go to get STAB, and even though it's the weakest Psychic move, Golduck can learn Confusion, which is useful against Poison and Fighting types, plus you have a chance of confusing your opponent. And let me tell you, NOTHING is more satisfying than watching your opponent attack themselves.

For the final move, Blizzard is always a good choice. Golduck's two weaknesses are Electric and Grass, and Blizzard will take out Grass-types. If you want, you can substitute Dig for Confusion to have the chance to take out 'lectric-types. It's your Golduck, so do whatever your little heart desires. Squawk on.

Battling Grade: B

Locally Sourced Joey: Talking Band With Andrew Swinney

Friend of the blog Andrew Swinney joins the podcast to talk about life as a band geek. We also wax nostalgic on all sorts of school memories. Ah, those memories. Enjoy!

Tuesday, September 23

Clint Dempsey Asks New Yorkers If They Know Who Clint Dempsey Is

U.S. Men's National Team soccer captain Clint Dempsey was in New York recently to promote EA Sports's Fifa 15. And of course, as a part of the team that captured our nation's hearts for about three weeks, it seemed like he'd be recognizable anywhere.

Well, not really. Dempsey took to the streets to ask people about Clint Dempsey. They didn't seem to realize they were talking to the man himself. The realization of the final guy is fantastic. Just waiting for that light bulb to go off...

TV Reporter Quits On Air To Support Her Legalize Marijuana Campaign

As someone who studied broadcast journalism in college, I can't help but feel for an anchor put in a ridiculous place. In Alaska, there was some trouble a-brewing. KTVA's Charlo Greene revealed she was the leader of the Alaska Cannabis Club, and quit live on-air, announcing she was going to focus all of her time on the club. She quits in a very unprofessional, burning bridges sorta way, but that makes for some entertaining, awkward television. Enjoy.

Monday, September 22

High School Football Player Turns Postgame Interview Into Motivational Seminar

Talk about your impassioned postgame speeches. East View High School in Georgetown, TX played a tight football game with Vandegrift over the weekend, and of course, tensions were high. Spirits were high on the victorious East View squad, as well--none higher than those of running back Apollos Hester.

First of all, what a name. Second of all, this guy's face kind of looks like Haley Joel Osment's. Thirdly, this has gotta be one of the most wonderful postgame speeches I've ever seen. He looks like he's trying to pump up an entire graduating class, or helping the sales team kick butt this quarter. Just incredible. Way to go, Apollos.

Sunday, September 21

Kmart Release "Not A Christmas Commercial" Commercial, Internet Revolts

I'm not entirely sure what's going on in this Kmart ad, but I do know that people on the Internet seem to hate it. Seriously, look at the like/dislike bar for this bad boy. Even more impressively, Kmart appears to have replied to nearly every comment posted on the video. As someone who responds to social media comments for a living, people can be very vicious, so I have to applaud the team over at Kmart for their dedication.

Friday, September 19

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton Take On Jimmy Fallon In Lip-Sync Battle

These little lip-sync-offs are never anything new, but hey, they're always entertaining. In this bout, Jimmy Fallon takes on Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton. A trio of talent! 

Wednesday, September 17

Nasim Pedrad as Aziz Ansari Is Creepily Spot-On

Nasim Pedrad appeared on Conan O'Brien recently, and it was revealed that during her time at Saturday Night Live, the actress regularly pitched for her Aziz Ansari impression to make the show. Alas, it never did, but Team Coco had a treat for us: a scene from a sketch where Pedrad did, in fact, portray Ansari. Not only does she look startlingly like him, the voice is quite impressive, too. And you know this sketch would have been a lot funnier than one of the 74 game shows SNL trotted out last season.

Monday, September 15

Surge Cola is Back, People With Bad Taste In Sodas Rejoice

Any 90s kid probably remembers SURGE, the Coca-Cola product billed as a "fully-loaded citrus soda with carbos." What that actually means is anyone's guess.

Anyway, thanks to an online petition, SURGE is now back on Amazon warehouses, but still. Fans of the drink can order cases via Amazon. And because nostalgia, here's the original commercial for the "Mountain Dew Killer."

Sunday, September 14

TV Anchor Announces He Has 4-6 Months To Live On Air, Shares Inspirational Messages With Viewers

During a newscast Thursday, Dave Benton of WCIA-TV in Champaign, Ill. announced the brain cancer which he had been battling had returned. Doctors told Benton the tumor is too large for surgery or radiation, and that he only has 4-6 months to live. 

As devastating as that news is, Benton just has a terrific outlook on things. He's going to try a new treatment, but plans to just take "a few more days and make them the best they can be."

Benton has two kids with his wife and grew up in Addison, a suburb of Chicago. He's been with the station for nine years.

Saturday, September 13

Mel Brooks Leaves 11-Finger Handprint On Hollywood Walk Of Fame

Leave it to Mel Brooks to do something zany. The filmmaker and comedian added an 11th prosthetic finger to his left hand before putting his hands in the cement to go on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not sure how obvious the extra digit will be outside of Hollywood's Chinese Theatre, but it's still a fairly ridiculous gesture. Well done, Mel.

Thursday, September 11

Jeremy Lin Pretends To Be A Wax Statue

Jeremy Lin hasn't even played a game for the Lakers yet, but he's already enjoying his California surroundings. The point guard posed as a wax statue at Madame Tussauds in San Francisco, trying to scare unsuspecting fans. Nowhere near as amusing as when Troy Polamalu did it, but still a lil entertaining.

Wednesday, September 10

Giving To People Video Will Give You The Feels

Sometimes you just need a nice feel-good video. BigDawsTV has made a nice "prank" where he poses as a homeless man, then gives money to people that give him some spare change. The ending is very touching, as well. Nice to know there's still a little decent humanity out there in the world.

New Found Glory Drops New Single, "Ready and Willing"

New Found Glory is coming out with a new album--their first as a four-piece. Resurrection comes out on October 7, and the band has given us another look at a single. This one, "Ready and Willing," seems to be a subtle nod at boy-ish bands like 5 Seconds of Summer. And, in typical NFG fashion, the song is pretty darn catchy. Enjoy!

Fall Out Boy Releases Hyperlapse Video For "Centuries"

Less than a year and a half after their last album, Save Rock and Roll, Fall Out Boy is back with more music. This jam, called "Centuries," is definitely along the hip-hop vein of "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark." I fully expect to hear it in music arenas all over the land, and promptly get sick of it. Way to go, kids.

Instagram Intervention With Troian Bellisario

I don't know who Troian Bellisario is, but she's apparently famous enough to have a Funny or Die video about overdoing everything on Instagram. Her friends have finally had it with her shenanigans, and decide to stage an intervention. She reluctantly agrees, only to proceed to have the most Instagramiest day yet.

Tuesday, September 9

Ty Lawson Mocks James Harden With Instagram Photo

Ty Lawson was clearly watching the obliteration the Niners put on the Cowboys Sunday afternoon. And he thought he'd make fun of a fellow NBA player with a lil' Instagram humor. Lawson posted the above, featuring Harden wearing a headset. Looks like the poor defense transitions from NBA to NFL.

Sunday, September 7

Antonio Brown Kicks A Punter In The Face, Mortal Kombat Style

Those punters should really learn to just get out of the way. But Cleveland's Spencer Hanning did kind of slow Antonio Brown down enough so that he didn't score. He may be onto something here, after all.

Conan O'Brien Auditions for Commercials

Conan on Location is probably the best thing in the world. I don't know how I missed this one when it came out, but goodness, it is magical. Conan visits a place where he auditions for commercials, and hilarity ensues. LOTS of hilarity.

Saturday, September 6

Horrible Bosses 2 Trailer: Does It Look Great Or...Horrible?

I'm not entirely sure how the "bosses" part of this translates, unless it's a reference to the former employees from the first movie. Apparently, Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis are now kidnapping an investor's son, and shenanigans ensue. I'm fairly certain this movie will be terrible, but I liked the first one, so maybe I'll be surprised here.

Friday, September 5

Mean Tweets Return With An NFL Edition

Just in time for the start of the 2014 season, Jimmy Kimmel Live's popular "Mean Tweets" segment is back, with a barrage of NFL players. I don't think this one is as funny as the NBA (or a number of the celebrity ones), but a few of them are still very funny. Ike Taylor is probably my personal favorite. Enjoy!

Jim O'Heir Stars In Little Knockers, Season 2

I'm honestly not even entirely sure what's happening here, but Jim O'Heir (of Parks and Rec fame) finds himself in a Funny or Die spoof of Hard Knocks. And you know what? That's good enough for me. Enjoy!

Wednesday, September 3

If Google Were A Guy (Part 3)

There's no reason this should be so funny. But College Humor is really spot on with this series, depicting Google as a therapist for people's weird, insane searches. Love the Siri cameo by Alison Becker, too. Good work, y'all.

Monday, September 1

It's Labor Day Weekend, Let's Finally Put An End to The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Videos

First off, by no means am I suggesting you stop donating to ALS, or any other charity that you believe in. But these ice bucket challenges are filling up Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Pinterest and Xanga faster than you can say "Oh no...ANOTHER one?!"

So let's put an end to the videos. Keep on donatin', and even feel free to post about it if you'd like. However, as about 96% of these videos are just people starving for attention, it's gotta stop.

Above is a video of Kermit the Frog doing an ice bucket challenge. Below is one of Homer Simpson doing it. When fictional characters are getting in on the action, you know it's gone too far.