Wednesday, August 31

Ranking the Pokemon: #134- Grimer


Grimer suffers from a crappy type more than anything else. I guess there's something cool about a pile of sludge coming out of another pile of sludge, which is really what Grimer is. Actually, now that I think about it, he sort of reminds me of one of the monsters from the old Word Rescue computer game (specifically the one on the far left in this picture), and I HATED those monsters. Except the red one, he was kind of cool. Grimer also kind of looks like Barney, which again garners him some negative points. But, fortunately, he got absolutely destroyed by Psychic (most common/powerful type in those days) and Ground, so he wasn't able to shoot Sludge or Poison Gas or anything like that. And we all breathed a sigh of relief. Or something like that.

Grade: D+

Previously: #135- Venonat

Blast From the Past

This song came on the ol' iPod today, and A Hot Cup immediately became nostalgic. Watching this video back in freshman year on a big screen outside of a Hard Rock Cafe in Los Angeles with Rubes before hitting up California Adventure during a band trip brought back some solid memories. Who would have thought that nearly ten years later A Hot Cup would be based only a little ways away from that very Hard Rock. Ahh, memories. In any case, while Puddle of Mudd is by no means a good or creative band, this song--cleverly titled "She Hates Me"--is quite catchy and the video is pretty funny. So why not check it out?

Monday, August 29

Video Games in Real Life

It's been the cool thing to do over the past couple of months--putting video games into real life context. The end result is usually hilarity. Our heroes and heroines don't always translate well from the screen to the real world. Let's take a look at some of the better adaptations below.

The Legend of Zelda
You know how Link never speaks in any Zelda title? Well, that proves to be a problem as the princess declares her love for our strapping young hero. Kudos to The Warp Zone for this video.



L.A. Noire
The latest offering from Team Bondi and Rockstar Games was lauded for its realistic graphics and portrayal of 1940s Los Angeles. And the game is a blast to play, combining film noir elements with mystery and action. But there are some clunky parts to it, which is portrayed quite accurately in this video from Funny or Die.


 
Halo
A Hot Cup and other members of the D Crew have spent countless hours playing Capture the Flag in the various incarnations of Halo. That's the only knock I have on this video; they call CtF the worst mode. Hardly! But it is pretty epic to watch. Good job, Fall Forward Films.
 

Monday, August 22

Drobnjak's Manjaks

Embarrassingly enough I was looking through old posts because I was ecstatic I had any comments at all and wanted to see if I had missed some from earlier. Apparently I also missed posting some things. This bad boy was scheduled to run on February 23 of this year, and it's especially vintage because it even features a "This Day in History." So, please treat this post as if today is February 23 and not virtually six months later. Thanks!

Veteran NBA journeyman Predrag Drobnjak retired this week, and I am shocked that I did not know about his website sooner. Here's the link to possibly one of the best sites of all-time. I don't know what the greatest part is: perhaps his Robert de Niro impersonations. Or maybe it's his smack-talk ("Your skills smells like rotten soup"). Or his advice to children. Actually, you know what? It's all amazing, so check it out.

I'd also like to give a big shoutout to the entire nation of the Philippines. You guys have been keeping my readership up, even though I've been lackluster in the quantity of posts lately. I would say quality as well, but that's usually lackluster. Anyway, thanks for your attentive eyes and I will continue to post, hopefully more frequently.

This Day in History
1861- Abraham Lincoln avoids an assassination attempt. He would not be so fortunate a little more than four years later.

1940- Folk singer Woody Guthrie writes "This Land is Your Land." Catchy tune!

1945- The American flag is raised on Iwo Jima.

1954- Children receive the first polio vaccine.

Ranking the Pokemon: #135- Venonat

Might as well give y'all a double dose, since the posting has been...lacking, to say the least. Venonat's not the absolute worst (which might explain why it's about 16 spots above the absolute worst), and it gets coolness points for being cuddly and possibly a substitute for a Swiffer, but Poison is just abysmal in Red, Blue and Yellow. In fact, it's still abysmal in the fifth generation, but it was really bad back then. Now it's just very bad.

In any case, Venonat is also part Bug, which is basically tied with Poison for worst type. So when you're the two worst types, it doesn't matter how good you are at posing as a cotton swab, you ain't climbing too high on A Hot Cup of Pokemon Rankings.

Grade: D

Previously: #136- Rattata

Ranking the Pokemon: #136- Rattata


I guess it's only fitting that after mentioning one of the crappy Pokes from the beginning of the game, I might as well put the other right above it. Rattata's much better than Pidgey for a pair of reasons, though--Hyper Fang and Super Fang. These two attacks (Super Fang especially) can do some really solid damage, even if you leave Rattata in his crappy first-level stage. But, like most rats, he's weak defensively, and a couple of strong hits will take him out.

Grade: D+

Previously: #137- Pidgey

Why Video Games Won't Let You Sleep

Thank you, YouTube user slamacow. You've provided the world with an interesting take on what everyone's favorite video game characters do while we're catching some shut-eye.  I'll give you a hint: they dance.

As any fan of this blog knows, Pokemon has a warm place in my heart. That's why it's a bit odd to see Sudowoodo (he's the tree with green balls for hands) joining Pikachu as the lone Poke' reps. But a pair of Goombas make it in, so it's allll goooood.

Saturday, August 20

Ranking the Pokemon: #137- Pidgey


"Enemy Pidgey used Gust." Get used to seeing that. A lot. In the early going, Pidgeys and Rattatas show up about 90% of the time when you encounter an enemy, and those Pidgeys only have Gust (and the occasional Sand Attack), so chances are you'll get screwed by the winged bird. The worst part is that Gust is a Normal-type, and not a Flying-type, move in Red, Blue and Yellow--presumably to give you a chance if you chose Bulbasaur. Granted, he's much better than Farfetch'd, but in his little weak unevolved form, he's still not very good.

Grade: D+

Previously: #138- Tentacool

The Art of the Youtube Comment

As any avid user of YouTube knows, oftentimes the hilarity of a YouTube video will reside in the comments section, rather than the actual video itself. Usually this hilarity is due to the incredible ineptitude of the YouTube users, with their crippling inability to not cause one to lose faith in humanity headlining the charge. In case you'd like to fit in when posting a comment, here are the main types of comments you'll find (note: example comments have been edited for grammar and spelling).

The Direct Quote
This type of comment actually got its start in the early 1980s, when it became chic to borrow phrases from movies. Of course, a well-placed quote can make a conversation better, but oftentimes if we watch a video we don't need to hear what was just uttered. You can liken this to a friend (or, as may be the case, an enemy) that will say a funny line of a TV show or movie moments before the character in said show or movie says the same line. And unless your friend is the actor or actress saying the line on the screen, it's not as funny, and the line is thus ruined. And you HATE that.
Example: "It's so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice!"

The Thumbs Up
In a similarly pathetic vein, this sap will ask for thumbs up by proposing a hypothetical situation. The idea is that if enough people agree with a comment, they'll give it so many thumbs up that it will bump it into the top comments. The only problem is that YouTube doesn't notify you when you get a thumbs up, so unless you're meticulously checking back to see where you're at, it's a wasted endeavor. And checking back makes you infinitely lame, anyway. Oh, and if you DO make it into the top two comments, you don't stay there forever. Thumbs up if you agree this is a stupid, stupid, technique.
Example: "Thumbs up if you have thumbs!"

The Dislike Critiquer
The Dislike Critiquer is so entrenched in his or her beliefs that something is great, that any sort of negativity toward said something is wrong; furthermore the person expressing negativity must have some sort of issue with them. The end result is Person A criticizing every Person B (the total number of dislikes on the video), using some sort of reference to the video as an insult. For example, on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Colin Mochrie might say something like "There's blood in my stool" during an "Irish Drinking Song" sketch. 14 people may dislike the video. And rather than actually admitting someone could have a differentiating opinion, the person goes to extreme--and uncreative--measures, as in the example below.
Example: "14 people have blood in their stools."

The Faker
The Faker has a one-word vocabulary, and will say it with glee on any video that might have required a bit of doctoring, such as a man throwing a ball 100 yards.
Example: "FAKE!!!"

The Bitter Pill
The Bitter Pill will find something to complain about, regardless of the original topic of the video. Sometimes, it's warranted, such as whining over a quality show being canceled, but oftentimes, it snowballs into lashing out at someone or someones in particular, but for no particular reason.
Example: "They never should have let Charlie Sheen leave Two and a Half Men. You're stupid if you don't like him."

The Obvious Question
Sometimes a person will ask a question so obvious, it really puts humankind to shame. Whether it be a "who sings this song?" when all of the information is in the description, or "Who is Angelina Jolie?" The best response is to just shake your head and move on.
Example: (With "Song: 'You Might Think' by the Cars" in the description, or even worse, the title of the video) "I really like this song!!!11one!! Who sings it????"

The Spam, Bam, Thank You Ma'am
As annoying as ever, the SBTYM has nothing to contribute to the conversation, so they'll instead leave either an ad for some product you don't want, or will do some silly little chain mail thing. The most recent one cropping up is a "I'm going to list 10 'facts,' but skip a few numbers and make assumptions that you're as dumb as I am to see if I can fool you." But they are mistaken, as no one could possibly be as dumb as someone who forwards chain mail.
Example: If you punch yourself in the face 11 times before the stroke of 6:54 p.m. tonight, your crush will reveal themselves tomorrow at school! Copy and paste this and you'll meet your crush!

The Flame Starter
Comparable to the bitter pill, but there's really no rationale behind the negative comment, other than to start an argument unrelated to the video.
Example: (on a "Blues Clues" video) "Every race is inferior to mine!"

The Nostalgia Nut
Most commonly seen on older videos, the Nostalgia Nut will wistfully long for the days of yesteryear. Of course, those days are not coming back, but it's nice to have something to hope for.
Example: "Man, those 90s TV shows like Doug and Rocko's Modern Life were the BEST! Today's stuff is so bad."

The Actual Comment
The rarest of the breeds; the actual comment is so scarcely seen that it remains the stuff of legend. The actual comment will usually be relevant to the topic at hand, and may recount an interesting story, or have a fun fact to contribute. While it should happen more often, sadly, it just doesn't.
Example: Shawn Kemp was the first man to ever gain 63 pounds in a season. I wonder if that ultimately led to the demise of the Seattle Supersonics.

Tuesday, August 16

John Stamos Has Some Cuddling Techniques to Share

John Stamos, of Full House fame, has retained his chiseled good looks despite not actually acting in anything noteworthy for over a decade. And no, Glee doesn’t count. But that has changed in this delightful snuggle session with Bob Saget, where Stamos teaches us some of his secret tips to wooing the ladies. It’s all for his Project Cuddle foundation, which is a good cause. Oh, and its purpose is also to make us laugh. And, Mr. Stamos, mission accomplished.



New Era Commercial- JumboTron John

Any fan of this blog (nearing double digits!) can tell you that we really love the New Era commercials featuring John Krasinski and Alec Baldwin. A lot. New Era recently came out with a new installment--this time Baldwin gets the last laugh. In fact, it seems like Baldwin usually gets the last laugh in these, but there's a good chance Krasinski will get his revenge. Even if he doesn't, it's still hilarious enough that it doesn't matter.

Jake and Amir- Rick Fox 2

Rick Fox is back, and is still pretty obsessed with eggs. Unlike most athletes turned actors, Fox actually has some chops. Check him out wreaking some more havoc with Jake and Amir from College Humor, and in case you missed part one, we've got it right here.




Ranking the Pokemon: #138- Tentacool

Tentacool's actually not awful as far as battling goes, but he suffers from the "Zubat syndrome." While Zubat appears ALL THE TIME in EVERY cave you come across, Tentacool shows up ALL THE TIME in EVERY body of water you swim through. If you don't use Surf very often, you'd obviously have Tentacool higher up on the list, but since I do use Surf, as it's the only HM worthy of a slot on a Pokemon you use that's not an HM slave, I'ma keep Tentacool where he is. Also, jellyfish as real-life creatures suck, and may be the most useless things in the world. For that alone, Tentacool loses a full letter grade.

Grade: D-

Previously: #139- Horsea

Friday, August 12

Jake and Amir- Rick Fox

College Humor has a funny web series that's been going since 2007 in Jake and Amir, which finds two New Yorkers in oddball situations. Apparently these particular videos have been out since early this year, but hey, I just saw 'em today, so we'll pitch the first in a couple of skits that feature Rick Fox, former Los Angeles Laker and reality-TV star, with the rest to follow pretty soon. Or if you get REALLY impatient, you can probably just skip ahead to the next one anyway.

Words With Friends...Or Else

YouTube user Tobuscus has made a nice little video based off of the "Words With Friends" game available on smartphones, tablets, etc. The joke is in taking the title of the game a little bit too literally. This probably shouldn't be over four minutes long, but somehow it is, and it's still pretty funny. Check it out below.

Thursday, August 11

Ranking the Pokemon: #139- Horsea

Horsea's another one of those Water types that isn't terrible, but also doesn't really do much to help it stand out from the multitude of similar types. It's a little bit better than Goldeen, both stat wise, and because sea horses are much cooler than fish, but it also doesn't learn Waterfall. Not that that's a big loss, but still, I had to point out something different between the two.

Grade: D

Previously: #140- Goldeen

Wednesday, August 10

Pizza Quest

We're back once again with another video from College Humor. This appears on the Nintendo 3DS, which, as announced today, will be available in a Flame Red version starting September 9. But that doesn't mean College Humor will stop releasing pretty funny videos on a regular basis as part of the Nintendo Video service. Here's the latest installment, called "Pizza Quest." I'll rank it between the other two, "Dinosaur Office" and "BearShark," mainly because the robot has a funny voice.

Ranking the Pokemon: #140- Goldeen

Goldeen is one of many Water-type Pokemon that just isn't very good. From the time it made its appearance in Super Smash Bros., with the POWERFUL Splash move, it has let players know a simple truth: "Hey, there are many good Water types, and I'm not one of them." It learns a flying move in Peck, which I guess would allow it to do some damage to any Grass type that doesn't automatically kill it. It also gets Horn Drill and the unique (at the time) Waterfall. Since Waterfall is like a lesser Bubblebeam (which is already a subpar Hydro Pump, which is a pedestrian-at-best Surf), you probably wouldn't even be using it. Just like you shouldn't be using Goldeen.

Grade: D 

Previously: #141- Ponyta

Tuesday, August 9

This Is The Greatest Thing Ever: Saved By The Bell Interactive Game

Any fan of A Hot Cup knows that we'll embellish on how good or amazing something is from time to time. But in this case, if you grew up during the 90s (or 80s, or in fact, simply if you enjoyed the show), the Saved By The Bell Interactive Game may in fact be the most awesome thing ever. Stylized in fantastic NES-era graphics, complete with 8-bit soundtracks--ranging from the original theme to the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann"--you control Zack and help him make decisions that will have either positive or negative effects. It's pretty obvious to tell which path will lead which way, but with the ability to replay any decision, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this concept, except possibly that it's too short. But every major character makes an appearance, plus some other bit players that only showed up once or twice, and their inclusion is pretty hilarious. TheFineBros, for creating this masterpiece, we salute you!

Monday, August 8

Ranking the Pokemon: #141- Ponyta


Ponyta suffers more from type than anything else. Fire is just not very useful, as it takes out Grass, Ice and Bug. Well, as we've seen, Bugs are fairly useless, most Ice types are also Water types, which owns Fire, and only a couple Grass types are viable; those that are can be taken out by Ice just as effectively. Add to that the fact that a freeze is MUCH better than a burn, and, well, Ponyta, you're outta luck as far as utility goes. It also doesn't have a great movepool, its best set probably revolves around Fire Spin. And when you're relying on that, you know you can do better. A shiny Ponyta might get itself into D+ range, because them kids love the shiny things, but otherwise, we'll just say, "Nah dude, D!"

Grade: D

Previously: #142- Onix

Wednesday, August 3

Ranking the Pokemon: #142- Onix



Onix is Brock's main companion in the Pokémon TV series. But, as any fan of the games knows, most of the characters on the show use crappy Pokémon. Onix's only saving grace is its, ahem, rock solid defense. Too bad that if you have ANYTHING with a Special move, it can take Onix out. We're talking things as simple as Water Gun and Absorb. Because its HP is atrocious, and its Special is lacking too, Onix is weak against anything the Rock-type is weak to, which is a surprisingly large amount of things. The only good use Onix has is to give you a tough time in-game if you choose Charmander. And that's about it.

Grade: F

Previously: #143- Kakuna

Tuesday, August 2

Ninja Baseball Bat Man

Destructoid made a nice little feature about a game that came out in the early 90s and was amazing. It's called Ninja Baseball Bat Man, and it strangely reminds me of Super Baseball 2020, a game where robots and destroying things combined with baseball. SB2020 was awesome, so one can only reasonably assume this game is awesome as well. The video below explains.

Ranking the Pokemon: #143- Kakuna



Might as well put these two back-to-back, since their uselessness is comparable. Like Weedle is virtually the same as Caterpie, Kakuna is basically the same as Metapod; but again, assuming you leveled it up from its previous incarnation, Poison Sting is just SLIGHTLY better than Tackle. But barely. Plus Kakuna looks a little bit cooler than Metapod. Not enough to get it out of F-grade status, mind you, but hey, when you're this weak, you'll take what you can get.

Grade: F

Previously: #144- Metapod

Ranking the Pokemon: #144- Metapod



Metapod is a step up above Caterpie, because now instead of just Tackle and String Shot, it's got Harden. So...now you can deal minimal damage, slow down your opponent, AND raise your defense. Maybe now an opposing Tackle or Scratch won't kill you in one turn. Maybe.

Grade: F

Previously: #145- Weedle

Monday, August 1

BearShark

Remember "Dinosaur Office?" That video from College Humor with the dinosaurs talking like a mix between Strong Bad and a certain physical education teacher some lucky readers will know? Well, of course you remember, it's two posts below this one (updating is hard!). In any case, CH is back with another episode that can be seen exclusively in 3-D on the Nintendo 3DS, but for now you'll just have to enjoy it in 2 Ds. It's not QUITE as funny because the characters don't talk, but it's still quite chuckle-worthy.

Ranking the Pokemon: #145- Weedle



Weedle gets the nod over Caterpie because Poison Sting is SLIGHTLY better than Tackle, in that it has like a 12% chance of poisoning the opponent. Of course, poison is one of the worse status ailments out there, but at the stage of the game you'd be using either Weedle or Caterpie (which should be never, but perhaps you want a challenge or are on acid), it's more useful than nothing. Weedle also reminds me of the rendition of Wiggler from Super Mario 64 (and I'm not alone), so that always gets brownie points. Too bad other than the nostalgia factor, he's terrible.

Grade: F

Previously: #146- Caterpie