Monday, December 16

Sunday Thoughts: Week 15

It's cold outside, but it's warm in the NFL. Let's get to it!

-Poor, poor Cowboys fans. I really don't even have anything else to say about that. This team loses time and time again in the most heartbreaking fashion, it almost hurts to watch.

-The St. Louis Rams have to be laughing all the way to the bank. Not only did they get a nice win against the Saints (who look miserable outside of N'Awlins), they caught a break when Washington went for two against the Falcons in the final moments of their 27-26 loss. As you can probably guess, that two-point conversion was not completed successfully, and Washington's loss means St. Louis's gain: remember that the Rams still have like 17 draft picks as part of the Robert Griffin III trade. Also, Zac Stacy and his ginormous neck were one of the few players on my fantasy team who actually outperformed his projection. Love that big neck.

-Jamaal Charles had a terribly pedestrian day rushing the football, gaining 20 yards on eight carries, punching one of those totes in for a touchdown. But then you move over to the "Receiving" column and you see that he had 195 yards and four scores on eight catches. He's the first running back in history to have four receiving touchdowns, and he made the Oakland defense just look silly all day long in a 56-31 trouncing of da RAIIIIIDAAAAAAHS. 

-BREAKING NEWS: In Week 16, I'm going to suit up for the New York Giants, who again win our Worst Team of the Week award. I don't give a turd who you're playing, there is absolutely no excuse for such an anemic performance. Five interceptions, four sacks allowed, 181 total yards and ZERO points. This is two years in a row where the Giants have put up a zero in one of the late weeks of the season. Eli Manning has to be the worst quarterback to win two Super Bowls, right?

-Our Stupid Play of the Week has to be the Cowboys attempting a pass on 2nd down when they needed to milk the clock and had been gouging the Packers' defense all day on the ground. It was intercepted, and the Pack came back to score the winning touchdown after being down by 23 at halftime. It's one of the worst collapses I've ever seen, and another notch on the belt for a Cowboys coaching staff that is chock full of questionable decisions and playcalling.

-Who would have thought that the team to finally keep Josh Gordon to a reasonable stat line was a team that had given up 16,000 straight 100-yard rushers and went from Monsters of the Midway to Muffins on the Bidet? That's right, the Chicago Bears held Mr. Gordon to just 67 yards on three catches, with about two-thirds of them coming on a late touchdown. Jay Cutler also made his triumphant return, and threw a couple of early deflected touchdowns before looking like the (good side of the) Jay Cutler of old. And Alshon Jeffery continues to just make absurd touchdown catches.

-I have the Dolphins' TE Charles Clay on my fantasy team. Last week he was on my bench and went off, scoring 25.5 points with our settings. This week? I started him, and he finished with 1.1 points. Sounds about right. I don't think I've ever played him when he's had a good game. Speaking of which, huge win for the Dolphins against a Pats team playing to essentially clinch first place. The Fins are (for now) in that second wild card spot, though they'll have to wait for the Ravens to play Monday night before finding out if they're in the driver's seat for the rest of the season.

-Today I learned Minnesota had lost four games in the final minute. I guess they could be a lot better than 4-9-1 after all. Something named Matt Asiata scored three touchdowns for the Vikes (albeit on about 1.6 yards per carry) in a surprise upset of the Eagles. And once again, Philly's insistence on not running the ball with LeSean McCoy, despite him being a top three running back, is quite infuriating, both to actual Iggles fans and McCoy's fantasy owners. If you couldn't guess, I'm one of them.

-Another bullet point for how shitty the Giants are, along with this enjoyable story from October

-Our Most Boring Game of the Week was in a fairly ho-hum town (though Leslie Knope would disagree): Indianapolis. The Colts pretty easily took care of the Texans, though they recorded what, by my count, is the twelfth safety this year. So there's that.

-The Titans scored 17 points in a span of 3:12 to almost make a crazy comeback of their own against the Cardinals. But Arizona pulled out a 37-34 win in overtime, so all the Titans did was make their fans wait longer to get home. Thanks a lot, Tennessee. 

-The Bengals are bad and they should feel bad. 

-Enjoy the touchdown montage for this week! Not quite the 100 that were scored in Week 14, but still not too shabby.

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