Wednesday, August 13

Ranking the Pokemon: #15- Slowbro


Sometimes you just have to overlook how dumb a Pokemon appears, and realize that its stats are pretty fantastic. That's 100% the case with Slowbro. It's some sort of pink bear/otter combination, and always looks like it just told a stupid joke that it thinks is really funny. Sort of like that joke dog meme. And while it has a conch shell biting its tail (that apparently is a Shellder gone mad), it's just blissfully oblivious. Actually, maybe Slowbro's got the right mindset after all...

Regardless, Slowbro's got very good stats. Defense is absurdly high, while HP and Special are both nothing to sneeze at. Attack ain't too shabby, either, though Slowbro isn't just a clever name for this beast: as you'd probably guess, it's slow. As hell. But hey, I guess all that extra weight from the parasite on Scarlett Brohanssen's backside reduces the speed.

Slowbro's real strength, of course, lies not just in its types (Water, but more potently, Psychic), but in the enormous movepool it has. Numerous movesets are available for Hulk Brogan to use, though I think the best one is Surf, Psychic, Thunder Wave and Amnesia The first two take advantage of both STAB possibilities, and Thunder Wave is just a crucial move to have for any Poke that can learn it. And in Generation I, Amnesia is just BROKEN. It raises your Special stat by two stages, which means your Surf and Psychic are now doing even more absurd damage. And since Slowbro's HP and Defense are both strong, it can tank while you build up that Amnesia. Then when you unleash on the world................

.......things will get.............

........awesome!

That was my attempt at imitating Slowbro. I think I failed :(

Battling Grade: A

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