Wednesday, November 30

Ranking the Pokemon: #122- Rhyhorn

Rhyhorn is kind of frustrating. On the one hand, it's pretty badass--it's got outrageous Attack and Defense and can learn a ton of cool moves like Earthquake, Rock Slide and Horn Drill (I don't care if it only works 30% of the time. Any move that can kill an opponent in one hit, no questions asked is cool). It also looks all steel-like and spiny, despite the fact the Steel type wasn't invented until the next generation of games. Then they created Aron and his evolutionary line, which was basically the same thing (see the bottom two rows of this chart for proof).

On the other hand, Rhyhorn's types are Ground/Rock (not to be confused with Rock/Ground, which is what Geodude and every other dual Rock/Ground type is), it's slow as hell, and its Special is terrible. Those are three awful traits to have, and here's why: In R/B/Y (and still pretty much to this day), like 98.6% of teams had a Water type, and EVERY one of those are faster than Rhyhorn. Most are faster than Rhydon, too, but we'll bash the higher evolution when we get to it. Since those Water types are faster, they attack first. Strike one for Rhyhorn. Since the Water types will most likely attack with a water move, that's strike two for Rhyhorn, since water is a Special attack. And the biggest one (strike three, called looking on the outside corner) is that since Rhyhorn is both Ground AND Rock, any Water attack (or Grass or Ice, for that matter) does FOUR times the damage it would normally do, AND if the attack is the same type it gets STAB (Same Type Attack Bonus), so it will ultimately deal SIX times the amount of damage a normal attack would.

In case all that capitalization threw you off, allow me to summarize with a handy equation:

Rhyhorn + Water = Fainted Rhyhorn

Even an attack like Bubble can kill it. Embarrassing.

Grade: D+

Monday, November 28

Possibly the Best Catch of the Year

Let's be honest--the Marshall Thundering Herd are not having a fantastic season. But thanks to this amazing catch by Aaron Dobson, they are eligible for a bowl game at 6-6. Marshall beat ECU 34-27 over the weekend to gain bowl eligibility, and since this insane one-handed grab was worth six points (plus the ensuing PAT), one could argue that it won the game. Or you could just watch and gasp in amazement at just how difficult of a catch this is. Bonus points to Hobson for shoving the ref out of the way after he scores and not getting penalized.

Monday, November 21

Lee Corso Drops an F-Bomb On Live Television

Sometimes the title of a video can speak for itself. But let's have a little commentary for tradition's sake.

On Saturday, the ESPN Gameday crew visited Houston, to give the then No.11 Cougars a rare opportunity to shine on national television. This is a good thing, because the Cougars are really entertaining to watch. They were taking on the SMU Mustangs in a game Houston would eventually win 37-7. Pre-game, Corso, along with fellow Gamedayers Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit, were joined by track and field legend Carl Lewis. Corso pretended he was going to pick SMU, then made an offhanded comment about how he was, in fact, NOT going to pick the Mustangs, tossed the megaphone away and donned a Cougars mascot head instead. And the reaction is amazing. Fowler doubles over onto the desk, Lewis chuckles knowingly, and Herbstreit makes the biggest "Oh geez, we're gonna be in troubleeeeee" face I've ever seen. Like I said, amazing.

Of course, people will get up in arms about Corso's faux-pas--he did offer an apology later on during the day in which he said the language would never happen again. But there's a lot worse that's on TV weekly, even if the f-bomb is the king of swears, so hopefully there's not TOO much backlash. Check out the insanity below.

Seducing Women Through Chess

We're STILL waiting on a new Lonely Island song (arrival date right now appears to be on the 7th of Never), but Saturday Night Live is still presenting weekly digital shorts. This one might be the best of the season so far, but with not a whole lot of competition, that's not saying a lot. Andy Samberg and most of the women of the cast join forces to show how chess and, later, some other activities can possibly impress women. Chaos ensues.

Friday, November 18

Ranking the Pokemon: #123- Nidoran♂

You may be wondering why I didn't just combine the two of these Niddies, and if that's the case, you clearly don't know me very well...that's right, gotta up that view count. Click away!

Anyway, Nidoran♂ gets the slight nod over his female counterpart for a couple of reasons. First, he has a horn on his head, which means when he does "Horn Attack" (which both versions learn), it should do more damage. I don't think it actually does, but Pokemon was never a game based on logic. Plus horns always remind me of unicorns, and unicorns are awesome. His ears, meanwhile, are ENORMOUS. The hearing must be off the charts. I don't believe "Sound" or "Hear" plan to be Pokemon moves any time soon, but if they are...well, look out.

Grade: C-

Previously: #124- Nidoran♀

Ranking the Pokemon: #124- Nidoran♀

Nidoran♀ (that's the female edition) is another Pokemon you can catch early in the game, if you go to the left at Viridian City rather than the more direct straight ahead path. You can also catch the male version, but he's slightly better, at least initially, so we'll only do some girl gossip here.

Nidoran♀isn't awful, and when fully evolved, Nidoqueen can learn some nice moves and do solid damage with 'em, but as a little unevolved cub(ette?), she's only okay, and it's mostly because most unevolved Pokes are terrible. Fun fact: I'm sure I'll touch on when I post about the male version, but this chain of evolutions were actually well ahead of their time. Starting with Gold and Silver, most Pokemon have genders and could be bred, but in the R/B/Y days, it was androgynous or bust. The Niddies didn't like that, though, so they decided to sex it up before it was the trendy thing to do. And for that, we can only commend them, because without their bravery, we'd never have the ability to, say, get Psybeam onto a Psyduck.

Grade: C-

Previously: #125- Spearow

Thursday, November 17

The Siri Argument

Siri is allegedly revolutionizing the way iPhones work, although I've still yet to actually see one in action. The concept seems super cool, though, in that you can use the digital program to be your eyes, ears, and should the need arise, any other part of your body. Cool. As College Humor points out, it would also be quite useful for arguments. I appreciate Siri's attempts to not get involved, but sometimes unwilling participants get dragged in. At least it's hilarious.

Wednesday, November 16

Rebecca Black- Person of Interest

Look, any fan of A Hot Cup knows we have a rather interesting obsession with Rebecca Black. She's 14, and thanks to some wealthy parents, made a song that polarized the internet, which I still believe holds the record for most dislikes on a single video in one week. Since then, she's recorded a follow up single, appeared in a Katy Perry music video, and, between all that, has still found time to keep up with her studies. Oh, and she's also recorded ANOTHER song that was just released. This one's called "Person of Interest," and is really only notable for being partially recorded at the Santa Monica Pier, which is just a short ways away from where A Hot Cup resides. Now we can say we've made an 100-point basket on the same arcade game (which is actually one of the lower scores on said game) Rebecca Black's love interest sinks in this video.

Also, to (roughly) quote one of the top comments, which makes a fantastic reference to the song that started this whole roller coaster ride: "The best part about riding go karts is it removes the need to have to choose which seat to take."

Happy Birthday, Big Sis

A Hot Cup of Joey would like to wish a very happy birthday to his sister--here's to many more years of delicious pumpkin treats!

Full-Court Fun

Stanford's Gabriel Harris was a bit confused as to why his team was losing to Colorado State at home last night. Down five going into halftime, Harris wanted to trim the lead a bit, so he effortlessly tossed up a 70-footer right before the buzzer. And I do mean effortlessly. Sorry for the poor quality, but the Bay Area doesn't get as much pub as the rest of the country, so we only get a dude pointing a camera at his TV. Oh well.

Monday, November 14

Fantastic College Football Plays

Over the weekend there were some big changes in the world of college football, with Oregon upsetting then-unbeaten Stanford 53-30, and Boise State once again being done in by a botched simple field goal, dashing any hopes of a shot at the BCS championship game. But the best two plays came from the Arkansas-Tennessee game. Arkansas is quietly rising back up the charts and at this rate is looking pretty good for a spot in a BCS bowl game. Check out these two fantastic plays below, the first being an amazing acrobatic catch from Jarius Wright, and the second an incredible punt return from Joe Adams. A Hot Cup still prefers Devin Hester's returns, but either way, it's beautiful.

Wednesday, November 9

Ranking the Pokemon: #125- Spearow

Ahh, Speary. I don't think this winged critter is any better than Pidgey as far as battling goes, but for whatever reason I always liked him better. I think maybe because spears are cooler than pidges. Also, pidges aren't actually legitimate things, so they have that going against them. It also appears that Spearow's beak is a bit sharper, and he's already got Peck when you begin, while Pidgey just has the neutral Gust. Come to think of it, the only Flying move Pidgey actually learns is Wing Attack (Mirror Move doesn't count), which was super weak back then, and probably still is now. So that's why Pidgey is lower.

Why is Spearow higher? Well, I kind of just answered that, but there are two words to further it: Drill Peck. Probably the best Flying move during this generation, it does solid damage and is accurate. And with the Same Type Attack Bonus (aka STAB to you diehards out there), it gets an extra boost whenever Spearow uses it. It's still super weak Defense-wise, but it can at least get a good hit or two in before it gets knocked out.

Grade: C-

Monday, November 7

Rage Quitting Gone Wrong

Anyone who's ever played video games has at one point or another come across a level, area, or even just a task that was darn near impossible to complete successfully. Personally, if I couldn't complete said impossible event, I would stop playing pretty early on, before the frustration mounted too high, and try again later.

But in this case, Michael from RoosterTeeth takes on an impossibly hard game called "I Wanna Be The Guy." This game seems frustrating enough on its own, but playing it with a computer keyboard seems, well, infuriating. Michael's efforts to become the guy don't quite work out as well as he'd hope, and the rising anger he experiences is quite amazing. I probably don't need to tell you this is NSFW, but I will, for liability purposes, or something like that.

Thursday, November 3

Ranking the Pokemon: #126- Clefairy

I know I've mentioned this before, but Normal types tend to not be very good. If I was making a hierarchy of types, Normal would probably be like 13th, ahead of Poison and Bug but behind everyone else. Perhaps one day I'll make that full hierarchy, possibly in pie chart form. Mmm, pie.

Anyway, Clefairy is just another of the many Normal types out there. In fact, its one of many PINK normal types out there. And outside of Chansey, none of those pinkies are really worth using. I do like the theory that the shadow of Clefable (Clefairy's evolved form) is actually the Ghost-type Gengar, but that's Clefable, not Clefairy. The more evolved form will gain a couple spots on this list simply because of that little tidbit, even if it's just farcical. As it stands, though, Clefairy is another one of those hard-to-find-but-not-really-worth-it Pokes that seem to frequent the first generation of games. Comparable to Jigglypuff, but with a bit lower HP and a bit higher Special, Clefairy can at least learn some useful moves; that's why it's higher than the Puff Factory. And Clefairy will one day turn into a pretty solid battling machine (as Clefable), but for now, it's wallowing in mediocrity.

Grade: C- (our first C grade!)

Previously: #127- Mr. Mime

Google "Do a Barrel Roll"

There's really nothing else to say. Outside of that I still love that you can use "Google" as a verb. But basically if you want a fun little treat, type "do a barrel roll" into Google and then hit enter. A delightful nod to Star Fox 64, one of my favorite games of all-time. Bam.

If you're incredibly lazy, you can just click here for the effect. It apparently also works if you type "Z or R twice" into Google as well, which is how you can accomplish said barrel roll in the game.