Sunday, November 30

The Peanuts series is getting a major motion picture made, courtesy of FOX Family. And a trailer has been released, showing our favorite beagle Snoopy getting into a battle with the Red Baron over the streets of Paris. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this movie, but I do love me some Snoopy and Woodstock, and when Snoop laughs near the end of this trailer...well, it seems like things might just be alright.

Thursday, November 27

How To Thanksgiving: A Quick Primer

Here's a blast from the past. A little Thanksgiving 101 to give you the true meaning behind the holiday. And there's some terrific trivia in here too (not to mention wonderful voice acting), so pay attention!

Band Aid 30 Returns With...Well, Basically The Same Song As The Original

I love me some Bob Geldof. The British rocker is back at it with the 30th anniversary edition of Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

It's the same song, but this time it's directed at the ebola virus, and it features more current pop stars like One Direction, Sam Smith, Ellie Goulding and Ed Sheeran. Geldof also gives some oldies but goodies a little screen time--see if you can catch Seal, Chris Martin from Coldplay, and of course, Bono. Zero surprise there.

Tuesday, November 25

Richard Sherman And Cardboard Doug Baldwin Provide Parody Press Conference To Defend Marshawn Lynch

Richard Sherman continues to be one of the most well-spoken guys in the NFL, so this really isn't a huge surprise. It definitely cracked me up, though--Sherman and Doug Baldwin, crouched behind a cardboard cutout of himself, spoke to the media for about two and a half minutes today. The main topic? Just how hypocritical the NFL can be. The pair discuss playing two games in five days, drop a whole lot of sponsors' names, and wonder how Marshawn Lynch can be fined so much simply for not talking. It's a clever way to stick up for their teammates, though I'm sure there'll probably be some dumb penalty for Sherman, Baldwin, and Cardboard Baldwin.

Monday, November 24

More Mean Tweets? Yes Please!

Jimmy Kimmel Live is back with the eighth installment of celebrities reading mean tweets. This time, we learn John Stamos has a weird belly button, Ty Burrell often gets mistaken for a less flattering Jon Hamm, and someone really hates Lisa Kudrow. 

Remember, folks, celebrities have feelings, too. So make your tweets creatively mean, and you might end up on TV.

There Is No Hyperbole Great Enough To Describe The Catch Odell Beckham Jr Made

There really is none. Odell Beckham Jr fends off the Cowboys' Brandon Carr, and makes an acrobatic catch, not simply with one hand, but with THREE FINGERS. Of course the Giants ended up losing 31-28, but never mind that. Just watch this play and enjoy.

Sunday, November 23

Bryan Cranston Narrates New Children's Book: "You Have To F*cking Eat"

You may recall a while back when Samuel L. Jackson narrated Go The F*ck to Sleep, a children's book by Adam Mansbach. Seeing the demand for kids' books laced with profanity, Bryan Cranston is now getting in on the fun.

You Have To F*cking Eat encourages children to eat their food, even if it's not they're favorite. Because nourishment is important. And if Heisenberg is telling you to eat, you better damn well listen. A clip is above, and the full version is downloadable through December 12.

Saturday, November 22

Porn Stars Promote Net Neutrality, Make More Sense Than Ted Cruz Does

The latest topic of debate between political parties is net neutrality, or the idea that all content on the web should be provided at the same rate, regardless of what internet plan you have, what sites you frequent, and all that good stuff. Ted Cruz recently said that net neutrality was essentially worse than the devil, leading much of America to wonder if Ted Cruz actually knows what the internet is.

Regardless, porn stars Alex Chance, Mercedes Carrera and Nadia Styles took it upon themselves to promote the "for" side of net neutrality. And if they can show off their assets while doing it, even better. With a little assist from Funny Or Die, these ladies sure do make a lot of sense. Enjoy.

Thursday, November 20

Sesame Street's Ernie Turns 45, Gets A Colonoscopy

Ernie turned 45 this past week, so Conan felt it was due time to give him a colonoscopy. Makes perfect sense to me. After all, it's the responsible thing to do. Enjoy.

Nick Offerman Makes Handcrafted Wooden Emojis

As someone who sees emojis heavily used on the daily, often in situations that don't call for them, I can empathize greatly with this sketch. Nick Offerman, a great craftsman of his own, has generously created some wooden emojis, for a more personalized feel. The added bulk of 14 pounds per emoji ensures you get your workout in for the day, as well.

Tuesday, November 18

Kevin Hart To Jameis Winston: "Stop Doing Dumb Sh*t"

  Kevin Hart Confronts Jameis Winston -- 'Stop Doing Dumb S**t'
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Apparently about a year ago, Kevin Hart met the Florida State football team. He promptly told Jameis Winston to stop doing dumb sh*t. I'm fairly certain this was before the latest dumb thing Winston's done, so clearly he nor other Florida State players in the news heeded Hart's advice. Oh well.

Friday, November 14

Marshawn Lynch Wants, Nay, NEEDS Steven Hauschka To Dance With Him

Marshawn Lynch had himself a day last Sunday. He torched the Giants to the tune of four touchdowns, then danced on the sidelines. I mean, I would too after that many scores. Alas, his teammate, kicker Steven Hauschka, wasn't feeling like busting a move. But that didn't stop Beast Mode from trying to get him involved. Happy Friday, y'all.

See Poetry Like Never Before With Derrick Brown On November 22

Derrick Brown is something of a wordsmith. Which is a good thing, because it makes his poetry and live readings that much more entertaining. Brown has toured with Eugene Mirman and Amber Tamblyn, and Jake Gyllenhaal just read one of Brown's poems at a fundraiser.

Brown is reading at the Off Center Theater in Austin on Saturday, November 22 to promote his new book, Our Poison Horse. Brown got into poetry while in a foxhole when he was enlisted as a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne. It was clearly a good call, as his most recent collection, Strange Light, won the 2013 Texas Book of the Year Award. Combining music, humor, stories and poetry, his live performances are something worth checking out. Enjoy a sample below:

Wednesday, November 12

Everyone On Wheel Of Fortune Guesses Something About Riding Horses, Pat Sajak Loses It

Wheel of Fortune found itself in Hawaii recently, and there were shenanigans aplenty. Watch as multiple contestants guess the final spin puzzle, and all of them have peculiar equine origins. Pat Sajak naturally is appalled, and actually briefly walks off set. Good times.

Monday, November 10

Taylor Swift Debuts "Blank Space" Video

Taylor Swift has just gone full troll on her critics in her music videos. This song sounds like a mix of Lorde and "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis, and I'll be darned if she's not saying "Starbucks lovers" during the chorus. But hey, the video's kinda entertaining. If nothing else, it's already got people talking. Oh, Taylor, you coy rebel, you.

Simpsons and Futurama Have Crossover Episode, Apparently Every Single Show Is Doing The Same This Week

It's the week of crossovers, I guess. The Simpsons and Futurama kicked things off with a little mashup--here, Homer "saves" Leela's pet Nibbler by breaking the heads of a number of Bart-esque monsters. The "why you little" exclamations just sound phoned in at this point, Homer's done it so many times.

Saturday, November 8

Jimmy Fallon and Matthew McConaughey Break Each Other's Faces

The game is Facebreakers. The objective: to break your opponent's face. Simple enough, right?

Of course, Jimmy Fallon and Matthew McConaughey aren't actually breaking each other's faces. Rather, they're throwing footballs at glass pictures of themselves. And even though there are some truly bad throws in here, both Fallon and McConaughey were lightyears better than Andy Dalton was on Thursday night.

Thursday, November 6

Texas Tailgating With Alexis Chong And The Grill Iron

UT football has been a disappointment, to put it mildly, but fans have something to cheer about this Saturday against West Virginia: delicious food.

Chef Alexis Chong of Sway Restaurant has been chosen to grill up a tasty dish for Tastemade's "The Grill Iron" show. Chef Chong will be grilling up her Texas Tailgate Tod Man Pla, or Thai fish cake. It's one of the most prominent appetizers on most Thai restaurants' menus. But of course, this is a Texas tailgate, so instead of frying the fish, she's going to shish-kebob it and grill it.

Check out a trailer and previous episodes of "The Grill Iron" below. And if you're at the game, stop by and sample some cuisine! It'll make up for the bitter taste the game is sure to leave in your mouth.

DATE:  Saturday, November 8, 2014
TIME:  1:30 p.m. CST
LOCATION: Tastemade Kitchen at the Hyundai Field House @ Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium 405 E 23rd St, Austin, TX 78712  

Wednesday, November 5

If Teachers Were Football Players

Occasionally, BuzzFeed produces something that's not a list about cats or nostalgia. This is one such thing--a visualization of what the world would be like if teachers were treated like athletes. And I must say, it's quite spot on. Enjoy.

P.S. If he doesn't get tenure, I'm quitting.

Tuesday, November 4

SNL's Swiftamine Explains The Phenomenon Of Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift, also known as T-Swizzle or That Girl Who Breaks Up With Every Boy, is an interesting dichotomy. Folks either love her or hate that they love her. I'm probably in the latter group. Saturday Night Live aired a sketch that just might explain why. Dr. David Doctor tells us that in the last month, Taylor Swift is the leading cause of vertigo, and with Swiftamine, you can get the help you deserve.

Monday, November 3

What 10 Hours Of Walking The Street Like A Man Looks Like

Recently a video about walking along the street as a woman went viral, when Shoshana B. Roberts was filmed for a PSA for Hollaback! The group wants to end street harassment. They've been both lauded as eye-opening, and criticized for only including Latino and black men in their video.

Either way, Funny or Die has outdone 'em.

"10 Hours Of Walking In NYC As A Man" is just incredible. Such a tough life, and something everyone should watch.

John Oliver Makes Home Depot Commercial Starring Nick Offerman, H. Jon Benjamin and Sarah Baker

Last Week Tonight With John Oliver never ceases to make me laugh. In this segment's ridicule, Oliver tackles the new robot employees from Lowe's. It's as weird as it sounds.

But the best part of human employees? The ability to sense when tensions are about to rise to unbearable levels among shoppers. That's why Oliver proposes a Home Depot ad that should exist, with a little help from Nick Offerman, Sarah Baker and H. Jon Benjamin.

Sunday, November 2

Matthew Stafford Invites Grocery Shoppers Into A Pepsi FanCave

Matthew Stafford definitely ranks up there as far as quarterbacks I'd want to hang out with. And, with a bye-week (the Lions did last play in London, after all),  Stafford apparently spent it hanging out in a giant cave of Pepsi boxes at a grocery store. He invites fans inside to party, tosses a few footballs with patrons, and causes a whole bunch of ruckus. Fantastic.

Saturday, November 1

Jimmy Fallon Challenges Daniel Radcliffe To Rap Blackalicious, Radcliffe Says "Okay"

Apparently Daniel Radcliffe is a big hip hop fan. Jimmy Fallon knows this, and encouraged Radcliffe to rap Blackalicious' tongue-twisting "Alphabet Aerobics." Harry Potter is more than up to the challenge. Drop the beat!