Wednesday, October 31

Learn to Grow a Mustache with Nick Offerman

Gentlemen, it is just about November. That means we'll be starting the month of where mustaches are grown wildly. Cleverly dubbed "Movember," the 'stache growing often raises money for charitable efforts, but some men just like to grow facial hair and not be horribly chastised for it. I'll be trying to do an entire beard, because my mustache just doesn't look that great.

Someone whose mustache DOES look great, though, is Nick Offerman. You may know him as Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation, and you may also know his mustache as something glorious. He tries to give us, the commoners, some pointers on mustache growing. So listen up!

Monday, October 29

Blake Griffin Travels to 1997 in New Kia Commercial

Blake Griffin's Kia commercials have always been worthy of a chuckle. They're sort of like Old Spice ads in that they're extremely random, but these never get TOO out of hand. This one, which finds Griffin traveling back to the year 1997, features a shoutout to OMC's "How Bizarre," jorts, and features a very impressive punt of a football. Can't complain about any of it.

Sunday, October 21

Old Spice Has Another Weird Ad

Terry Crews is no stranger to Old Spice commercials, but this might top the cake for strangeness. He's in a viral ad where you can push his muscles to create a song. I wish my muscles were that powerful...

Anyway, watch the video above, and wait until the end. That's when you can make your own remix, and get a crazy beat going.

One Direction Crashes Barbie's Party

You might recognize One Direction as Britain's favorite boy band. At least in the hearts of teenage girls everywhere. The five heartthrobs were recently seen crashing a party hosted by America's favorite plastic doll - Barbie. See what happens when the group meets some starstruck ladies. Here's a hint: it's CHAOS.

Sunday, October 14

Ranking the Pokemon: #72- Ivysaur

Ivysaur is, again, good proof that the middle evolution of a triad of evolutioners isn't so hot. As we touched on with Wartortle, the starters are all good in exactly one area, and then average or below average in the rest. Ivy at least outdoes its same-name counterpart from Batman & Robin, but unfortunately, Batman & Robin Ivy is not a Pokemon, so that doesn't count for anything.

Ivy's specialty is...well, its Special rating, which gives it a puncher's chance against the inevitable Psychic-type that'll come in to take out Ivysaur, because it's part Poison, too. So that's a weakness against the sleep-deprived monster. I'm just guessing it's sleep-deprived because of those red eyes! Another weakness is that movepool. There's just not a whole lot to work with, here. Your best bet is MAYBE trying the ol' Sleep Powder/Leech Seed/Toxic combo, and then tacking on Solarbeam (which takes an extra turn due to "charging up," and I was never a fan of that) or Razor Leaf (which has a weak base power, but almost always got a critical hit in those days, so I love it). You could also do Mega Drain to get some health back when you attack, but it won't be much, since MD is pretty weak.

I'm also curious if that flower sprouting on the back of Ivysaur is the source of its power. I thought I remembered someone mentioning that (possibly a Pokedex entry). If that's the case, a weed whacker could easily just get rid of this thing, right? If I can use the same attack against dandelions that I can use against Ivysaur, you ain't gettin' too high on my list.

Battling Grade: C+

Saturday, October 13

Ranking the Pokemon: #73- Wartortle

Pokemon does a good job of making you attached to your starters. Then, when it's time to evolve, you do it, but after a little bit you realize there are ample critters out there better than the one you started with. With no starter is that more true than Wartortle.

Wartortle's not awful, per say, but there are a lot of Water types that excel in areas, whereas Warty has pretty good Defense, and average or below average everything else. It also learns absolutely nothing worthwhile by leveling up, but fortunately, that's rectified by some solid TM/HM moves. You can toss Surf and Blizzard (Blizzard being the only 5 PP, super-powerful move worth using in those days) on there. You could go the tank route and add Reflect and Rest, or throw in Submission/Seismic Toss and Dig/Double-Edge and just attack like crazy. Since Defense is Warty's strength, the tank option is probably better.

The medium tortoise also looks like one of those stereotypical fat kids. Look at the way the arms stick out, its legs barely able to waddle. It also appears to have some kind of wings, too? It's just very confusing. You know what? Its inability to move its limbs kind of reminds me of Randy from A Christmas Story when he's in his snowsuit. And while I love Randy in that movie, I don't love Warty. I like it, but I'm not IN like with it.

Battling Grade: C+

Sunday, October 7

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Has a New Cast

In one of the most genius promos I can remember, the new season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia  is apparently ridding itself of the traditional cast. Gone are Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Kaitlin Olson, Rob McElhenney and Danny Devito. Instead, we have Candace Cameron, Chael Sonnen, Xzibit, Haley Joel Osment and Andrew Dice Clay. And it is glorious. Watch the shenanigans above.

Saturday, October 6

Samuel Jackson Wants You To Wake Up

But not just "wake up," but rather "Wake the fuck up." Everyone's favorite yeller invades people's homes to encourage potential Obama supporters to get out and vote. The online video from the Jewish Council for Education & Research features Jackson reading a children's story called "Wake the Fuck Up."

If it's reminiscent of Adam Mansbach's "Go the Fuck to Sleep," a children's book more aimed towards adults, that Jackson famously read.  As it should, since Mansbach wrote the script. Needless to say, it's hilarious, muthaf*cka! 

Friday, October 5

Ranking the Pokemon: #74- Arbok

I really wish Arbok was better than it is. It looks pretty badass by Pokemon standards, with its whole "double face on its body" thing going on. And it's the only generation where its back has cool black racing stripes. But those stats just aren't very good. Above average Attack and Speed and average-or-worse everything else just ain't gonna cut it.

Arbok does get some bonus points by learning Glare, which adds ANOTHER pair of eyes into the mix when you use it in the game (especially so in Pokemon Stadium). I always thought it was a cool move, despite the fact it's only accurate 75% of the time. And I suppose you could couple that with Earthquake and Rock Slide and get an okay Physical Sweeper.

But then you remember that Arbok is a Poison-type, and can easily get taken out by a Ground-type (which it can sort of counter with using Mega Drain), or a Psychic-type (which it can sort of counter by fainting and scurrying back to its Poke Ball). That's too bad for the cobra/basilisk.

Battling Grade: C

Previously: #75- Poliwhirl

Wednesday, October 3

Be Careful What You Tweet...

...or it might end up on a video, spoken in a funny voice with Google images.